State of Society – Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends – 2010

Prepared by Ministry and Counsel, approved at Monthly Meeting March 20, 2011

“Let us cherish the seed of God in ourselves and in others, that we may be open to new revelations of truth. Let us look to our meetings to guide and stimulate our spiritual growth.” Advices on Spiritual Life, F and P, NEYM, 1985

How have we been open to truth and how has our meeting guided and stimulated us? At the end of the first decade of the twenty-first century after the birth of Jesus, what do we offer to our families, our community and our world that speaks to “that of God” in each of us?

Our spiritual community has been deeply enriched by the work and messages from our interim pastor, Andrew Grannell. Our Pastoral Search Committee worked diligently and deliberately to call the best qualified Friend to our midst, Daphne Clement. Our Youth Minister and her able assistants provide a rich array of resources and opportunities to our beloved youth. They made a field trip to Philadelphia, worshipped with our Shaker neighbors and visited the Heifer Project. Attendance at Sunday School, Youth Passages and adult religious education has been consistent and strong.

The Woman’s Society has been active, raising more money in their annual yard sale than ever, and thus has more to give away. Our worship time is enlivened by the gifts of music, ministry and silent waiting. We offered Quaker Quest to our neighbors to let them know that they are welcome among Friends.

We have been ably led by our co-clerks, and the faithful stewards of all our gifts, spiritual, financial and material. We have completed extensive work on our buildings, making them more energy efficient, welcoming and as well ordered as resources allowed. We welcomed new attenders and mourned the passing of several of our members who were inspiring in their lives of grace and faithfulness. We grow older and bolder, but take time to offer each other fellowship and support in times of illness and duress. We know the power of love and tenderness and have heard repeatedly the calls to forgiveness.

We need to take the love and concern we experience in our meeting and pour it out in the rest of our lives. We have benefited from the ministry of traveling Friends, from our deepening connections with our Quarter through Quaker Quest. We are distressed to find ourselves without unity in matters that speak directly to our testimonies and pray that unity with all Friends, everywhere, may be found. We rejoice in our connections to Kakamega, Cuba, Kaimosi and Ramallah. We wish to offer more to the needy in our own neighborhoods, to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless and clothe those in need. We pray for peace.

We have found comfort in the metaphor of the potluck. Each of us brings what we are able, and we gather joyfully to share the bounty. It does not matter if we have little or nothing to bring, there is always enough. And being with each other, in light and laughter while giving thanks, is our deepest blessing. We are grateful.


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“Why Forgive?” by Daphne Clement

From our Pastor, Daphne Clement
True forgiveness opens the heart making us tender and available to God. Without practicing forgiveness, we loose the capacity to give and to receive. If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.

Everyone has plenty to forgive: even if our parents were the best of parents there is alwayssomething to forgive, our mates and children, our friends, our boss or supervisor… we must forgive life, the world and God… and last but not least… the greatest challenge of all… let us forgive ourselves.

What keeps us from forgiving? Forgiving life & God for the disappointments, the losses and hardships… sometimes the soul just gets weary, turning bitter and cold. This can be a dangerous time for without a tender heart we are so prone to judge… the act of judging others or ourselves binds the judged person… self or other… fast, to a chair… tying and gagging them there, limiting potential growth and change. When we judge another or ourselves we take our humanness away… judgment is the opposite of freedom; judgment limits who we are or will be.

Have you ever noticed that the heart tends to close and harden in judgment when we perceive a weakness in someone that subtly reflects fears of our own weaknesses? Regarding this sort of projection someone wise once said: “It’s all done with mirrors, you know.” Perhaps this accounts for Jesus’ comment: “Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” There they couldn’t forgive his humanness… and hence could not see his divinity. Because we cannot forgive we become blind to the truth that we are created in God’s image.

We distance ourselves from God every time the harsh inner critic intones: “I am not good
enough.” In Matthew, 18:18, Jesus instructs his disciples: “Verily I say unto you, what things so ever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and what things soever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (King James) The New Standard Easy-to-Read Version: “I tell you the truth. When you speak judgment here on earth, that judgment will be God’s judgment. When you promise forgiveness here on earth, that forgiveness will be God’s forgiveness.”

We forgive because forgiveness makes us resilient and makes us available to God’s presence.

Durham Monthly Meeting Minutes, February 20, 2011

February 20, 2011
Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends, held February 20, 2011. Fifteen people were present.
1. Edwin Hinshaw, co-clerk, presented a reflection on two questions: “Can we believe
what we see? Can we see what we believe?” Three readings were shared.

2. Linda Muller was appointed Recording Clerk for the day.

3. Jo-an Jacobus reported on website design. Our domain name is durhamfriendsmeeting.org

4. A New England Yearly Meeting of Friends Permanent Board letter regarding a mission statement was given to Adult Sunday School for review and comment.

5. Katharine Hildebrandt, Treasurer, reported on year to date, pastor’s package, and account balances. Budget report showed income $5855 and expenses $5699 for January. Reports attached and accepted with appreciation.

6. David Reed presented the annual trustees report (attached). It was noted that interest and dividends from the cemetery funds covered the cemetery expenses for the year. Application forms for lots in Lunt Cemetery are available from the trustees. Report accepted with thanks. Upcoming additions for children’s room: fold down changing table, paint, and shelves, to be paid through donation and Christian Education budget, were approved.
We were reminded that the parsonage lot is in Tree Growth.

7. Nancy Marstaller reported for Ministry and Counsel: State of Society report should be
forthcoming next monthly meeting. Pastor welcome dinners are continuing. REMINDER:
upcoming panel/potluck/discussion on the Friends United Meeting personnel policy is on 3/6/11, beginning directly after rise of meeting; clerks will plan to activate phone tree prior.
Wendy will arrange child-care for the panel
time.

8. Pastor, Daphne Clement reported on many activities: including sharing with other Friends’ pastors, visit to Portland Friends School, pastor’s support committee, meeting with individuals. Report accepted with thanks.

9. Wendy Schlotterbeck, Youth Minister, reported on the youth newspaper (Forever
Friends), which is greatly appreciated by Monthly Meeting, and youth activities such as a
get together with our new pastor, practice of Quaker listening, and making pretzel dough for Quarterly Meeting. Proceeds from the “Rise Up
Singing” concert on Saturday, March 19th, will benefit the Kakamega Orphan Project and
support for youth attending New England Yearly Meeting of Friends sessions this
summer.
Wendy reported about the Passages program, Young Friends, and Children’s Sunday School.
Our Meeting is hosting a “Playing in the Light” training to be held 4/15-17. MORE
TEACHERS are NEEDED for next year as an additional class may be added for the middle
school age, and more help is needed for the Godly Play® curriculum. We accepted Wendy’s
report with thanks.

10. A Friends Camp scholarship was requested. We approved a scholarship of $250.00 for
Abigail Fortune.

11. Susan Rice reported that the Peace & Social Concerns committee is being revitalized. She is its clerk at present.

12. The Newsletter Committee met and is considering how to coordinate with website, Joan Jacobus reported.

13. Special Events Committee member, Angela Reed, requested that we have an
intergenerational discussion on Greg Mortenson’s books and a potluck, which was
approved. A possible date of the 4th Sunday in May (5/22) was suggested. Seasonal birthdays celebration were enjoyed today!!

14. A landline telephone for this building is needed for safety reasons. Cell phone coverage
is poor inside the building. Jo-an Jacobus will check into this and report back next month.

Linda Muller, Recording Clerk pro tem.

Woman’s Society Report for February

By Angie Reed
The Durham Friends Woman’s Society met on February 21 at the home of Dorothy
Curtis. Twelve women attended. Theresa Oleksiw did a devotional reading. Susan Wood
presented the program. The topic was answering the call to do a new thing in life, and many of us shared times in our lives when that has happened.

In other business, we were asked to pray for Sylvia Graves who has just retired as the
General Secretary of FUM and for Colin Saxton who has just started in this position. The
Tedford meal for February was Beef Stew, Minestrone Soup, a green salad, rolls and apple
berry soup. Funds were allocated for the “Adopt a Nurse” program, and plans were approved for fundraisers for this and other programs supported by Woman’s Society. The annual Treasurer’s report, prepared by Margaret Wentworth, was distributed. Woman’s society received $6980.18 and distributed $5017.50.

The majority of funds were acquired through memorial donations, and the annual yard sale.
Money, $2000.00, is in reserve for the new Meeting Room sound system.
A silent auction will be held at the Meeting House at our next meeting on March 21. We will also be conducting an Easter Sunday Pie Sale. Please see separate article for details. Many of these funds will be earmarked for the Adopt-a-nurse program. Angie Reed requested and received support from Woman’s Society for our first intergenerational book discussion to be held on May 22. Please see related newsletter article. Kitsie Hildebrandt closed the meeting with a quote on peace. Our next meeting will be on March 21 at the Meeting House. All invited to attend.

Easter Pie Sale

By Angie Reed
Orders are currently being taken for pies of all types to be distributed Easter Sunday morning. Pies will be sold for a suggested donation of $15.00. To order please contact Theresa Oleksiw at either 449-0700, or 865- 6495. Types of pies available for order include Pecan, Apple-berry, Chocolate Cream, Banana Cream, or Blueberry. Other types of pie may be available upon request. This is a Woman’s Society fundraiser, with a portion of these funds earmarked for the Adopt-a-Nurse program.

Woman’s Society Silent Auction

By Angie Reed
On Monday, March 21st there will be a Silent Auction at the Meeting House at 6:30PM
before the start of our Woman’s Society Meeting at 7;00 PM. Please contribute home
baked goodies, fudge, your gently used items, and hand made items for our silent auction. We would like items to be available for a preview on Sunday, March 20. Early bids accepted at that time.
Because of the concert Young Friends are hosting on Saturday night, we ask that you do
not bring your items earlier than Sunday. If this is inconvenient, please see a Woman’s Society Member so storage arrangements can be made.
A portion of these funds goes to the Adopt-a- Nurse program.

Durham Friends Youth Ministry Report

Wendy Schlotterbeck
Dec. 2010 – Feb. 2011
Young Friends
1. On December 19, our special guest at Young Friends was Daphne Clement. The youth shared their biographies and their thoughts about God. They asked many questions of Daphne and she deftly answered them! It was a deep, rich conversation about being human and making sense of our faith. (8 youth and 2 adults attended)

2. We published our first issue of “Forever Friends”, the Young Friends newspaper. The
first issue features an interview with Bee Douglas, many photos and a comic strip. If you
have not seen it yet, check out the library table for a copy. We have eager journalists who want to interview, write articles, photograph, draw cartoons, write stories and poems and see their work in print. Stayed tuned for issue 2 – planned to be out the end of February.

3. At our January meeting, we had a lovely time of sharing, then made pretzel dough for the FQM which would be held the following Sunday. (8 youth and 1 adult attended)

4. FQM- During a special Sunday School, the children and youth had a great time hearing the legend of the pretzel and a story, “God’s Hands”, about 2 Jewish men, a rabbi, and 12
loaves of Challah bread. (8 children/youth and 4 adults attended)

5. On February 18, we discussed the upcoming concert, planned publicity and tickets sales.
Then we listened to our special guest, Sukie Rice, answering our MANY questions about the Kakamega Orphan project. We plan to donate part of the proceeds from the concert to this project. (3 youth and 2 adults attended)

Sunday School
The lessons in Sunday School for December were about Advent and Christmas. We all
welcomed Daphne Clement on December 5th and took a wonderful group portrait. January
and February Sunday School continued more parables. We listened to and wondered about, The Parable of the Leaven, The Parable of the Sower and The Parable of the Deep Well. We average 12 children ages 2 ½ to 13. We meet the first and third Sundays of each month during Meeting for Worship. (after the Children’s Story)

Passages
The high school group meets twice a month. On Sunday, Dec 12, we visited Sabbothday Lake Shaker Meeting. (4 youth and 1 adult attended) We have been discussing Faith and Practice especially regarding what Quakerism has to say about politics and war/conflicts. On January 30, our special guest was Markus Schlotterbeck. On February 13, we watched the documentary “Traces of the Trade.” This movie was made by a Connecticut woman who recently discovered that her grandparents and likely, the whole town of Bristol, CT benefited from the slave trade. It confronts issues of prejudice and white privilege.

After Meeting Refreshments Schedule

Thank you for being willing to prepare
refreshments. Please switch if needed.

Directions are posted in the kitchen. Supplies need to be donated- check what is already available in the kitchen. “Basic” refreshments are coffee, milk and/or half & half,
tea, juice, and crackers. People appreciate having cheese, sweets, veggies, or fruit, but it can be as simple as you like.
The Woman’s Society makes this schedule with people who
come to Meeting regularly and have been willing to prepare
refreshments in the past. We have not checked with each person
regarding dates. If you would like to be added to or taken off
this list, please see Nancy Marstaller. Thanks!

AFTER MEETING REFRESHMENTS
SCHEDULE
March 2011 THROUGH August 2011

March
6 Dorothy & Ed Hinshaw
13 Don Goodrich, Brenda Masse
20 Angie Reed & family
27 Joe & Alex Godleski

April
3 Glenice Hutchins & Al Anderson
10 Macy Whitehead, Sukie Rice
17 (Palm Sunday) Patty Carton & John Newlin
24 (Easter) Jeannie Baker Stinson & family, Theresa Oleksiw & Abby Fortune

May
1 Sue Wood, Dorothy Curtis
8 Nancy Marstaller, Clarabel Marstaller
15 Betsy Stivers & family
22 David & Kathy Brown
29 Sarah Sprogell, Leslie Manning

June
4 Linda Muller & Jim McCarthy
12 Bee Douglas, Nancy Marstaller, Jo-an Jacobus
19 Helen Clarkson, Julie Krejsa
26 Margaret Wentworth, Phyllis Wetherell

July
3 Kitsie Hildebrandt, Clarabel Marstaller
10 Glenice Hutchins & Al Anderson
17 Brenda Masse, Wayne Hollingworth
24 Dotty DeLoach, Don Goodrich
31 Sukie Rice, Susan Wood

August
7 Margaret Wentworth, Dotty DeLoach
14 Dorothy Curtis, Charlotte Anne Curtis
21 Eileen Babcock, Mildred Alexander
28 Phyllis Wetherell, Pam & Leonard Rainey

Young Friends Host Rise Up Singing, With Creators Peter & Annie, In Benefit Concert

By Wendy Schlotterbeck
On Saturday, March 19 at 7pm, Young Friends are hosting a sing-a-long concert with
Peter Blood and Annie Patterson, creators of the “Rise Up Singing” songbook. Tickets are on sale now from any Young Friend or Wendy Schlotterbeck. Proceeds will benefit the
Kakamega Orphan project and the DYF participation in NEYM this August.
Suggested donations:
Adults – $10-15,
Children under 12 – $5,
Families – $25.

Teachers Needed!

By Dorothy Hinshaw
The Christian Education Committee is planning the new year, beginning in September.
We note that many children will have “graduated” from the “Playing in the Light”
(Godly Play) curriculum; thus, another class is planned for the middle school age group. Therefore, we need teachers for this new class as well as others to help with the “Playing in the Light” class for the younger age group. Please consider volunteering for a span of time
(perhaps 2 or more months at a time) to lead/teach Sunday School.
Those willing to teach the “Playing in the Light” class will want to attend the April 15-
17 workshop. Contact Wendy Schlotterbeck for fee information and registration for the
workshop. Also, let committee members know if you are willing to devote some time in
teaching Sunday School! Christian Education Committee: Dorothy Hinshaw, Clarabel
Marstaller, Daphne Clement, Wendy Schlotterbeck, Erin Martin.

 

Playing in the Light Training Workshop

By Wendy Schlotterbeck
We are delighted to be the host for a “Playing in the Light” workshop April 15, 16,
and 17. Michael Gibson from Friends General Conference will be the lead trainer. Because our Sunday School is growing, we would like to offer another class for the middle school age
Friends next year, and need more teachers.
Please consider if you would like to grow into this wonderful way of helping children
understand God. Please contact Wendy Schlotterbeck for more information about this
exciting event!

 

Readers wanted

By Angie Reed
Monthly meeting has approved Sunday, May 22 as the date for a potluck and
intergenerational book discussion at the Meeting House. Please read any of Greg Mortensen’s books and join us to share your thoughts on your reading. These books are available on Woman’s Society shelves, and at your local library or bookstore. The book titles are: Three Cups of Tea, in adult and junior versions, Stones into Schools, and Listen to the Wind, in picture book format.
These books are part of this year’s United Society of Friends Women International
(USFWI) reading program. Woman’s Society participates in this program. If anyone has any extra copies of these books they would like to share with others at the meeting, please let Angie Reed know or just put your name in the book and place it on the Women’s Society
Reading program shelf. …..Happy Reading!

March 6th Brings Panel, Potluck, FUM and NEYM

By Leslie Manning
On March 6, we will have a panel and a potluck on the subject of Friends United
Meeting and New England Yearly Meeting. We will take up the personnel policy, financial
support and hope to provide guidance for ways to move forward. We invite everyone to join us immediately after Meeting.

LACO needs

Lisbon Area Christian Outreach (LACO) food pantry is in continuing need of
items to distribute. Breakfast cereals are constantly in short supply.
Donations of cereal are always welcome. Other items LACO needs are:
evaporated milk, granola bars, Pop-tarts, coffee, crackers of any kind, canned
chicken noodle soup, canned tomato soup, and boxed rice mixes.