“What to Make of the Christmas Story” by Doug Bennett

From a message by Doug Bennett, November 26, 2017

Here is something surprising about the Christmas stories in Matthew and Luke, the only Gospels with Christmas stories: there is never any mention of the Jesus’s birth in the Gospels or in the rest of the New Testament for that matter. It’s as if everyone forgot about that miracle birth. No one ever says to Jesus, “Aren’t you that guy that was born under a gigantic star?” Or “aren’t you the one the Magi came and showered gifts on? Whatever became of all that gold? Do you have a trust fund?” Or even, “wow, you must be the real deal! I remember what a fuss the angels made about your birth. That was amazing!”

Not a word. If no one in the Bible remembers, why do we make such a deal out of it? The collective amnesia is all the more surprising when we remember that the Gospels are full of hints and suggestions and confusions about whether Jesus really is the Son of God. Wouldn’t this have clinched it, if someone had just said: “Remember the amazing birth, the Magi and the angels and all that?” So what’s the point of these two Christmas stories that are part of these Gospels and yet not part of them?

There were plenty of other born-of-a-God stories in the world into which Jesus was born: Achilles (in the Iliad), Alexander the Great, Augustus Caesar: all claimed to have gods as parents. This Jesus that is born in glory turns out to be completely different from anyone else who has a “born-of-a-God” beginning. Those others were garden-variety heroes, strong warriors, born to rule and to dominate others. Those others become powerful. They dominated others. They had the ‘right stuff’. Now in Jesus we have something completely different. Strength is turning the other cheek. Love, not power is the major chord. Peace seeking, humility and simplicity are the order of the day.

For me, it’s not possible to understand the Christmas story without thinking about the other stories about Jesus that the Gospels tell, the stories after the Christmas story. These are stories that challenge us to live a different life.

Every so often you read a story about a guy who seemed to have everything: smarts and charm and wealth, and then it all goes bad. Everything sours. He ends up without friends, in prison, and finally he’s executed. Maybe he was guilty of something, maybe he wasn’t. But he’s forgotten soon after the news story. So sad, we say.

Jesus’s story is like that. It starts in glory and ends in execution. Only we’re not supposed to think ‘so sad’. When Jesus dies, he is ushering in something completely different; he triumphs. But he triumphs only if we follow the new way: the way of love and forgiveness. We certainly won’t see that surprising triumph if we only remember the first part of the story, the part in which he is born having it all, a good family, wealth and adoration. It’s what happens next that really matters. So stay tuned. Can we make the new way triumph?

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The entire message can be found at the blog River View Friend.

“Beatitudes for the Future” By Edwin Hinshaw

From a message in November by Edwin Hinshaw

A beatitude is prophetic pronouncement of joy, hope and promise used most effectively by Jesus in his teaching. Beatitudes are not peculiar to the New Testament. They are found throughout the Bible. They are pronouncements upon the person who is righteous, who keeps his/her hand (life) from doing evil, looking forward with confidence and trust in God. Beatitudes are not eschatological in nature (such as rewards after death or the end), but promises realizable during one’s life time upon earth.

The joy and happiness expressed in the Beatitudes comes not from good fortune or reward but from the fact that action being considered reflects the nearness of God. While the Beatitudes cited by Jesus follow the general pattern of all Beatitudes, he adds a special dimension or paradox. Persons who in no way appear fortunate are those declared blessed. The special dimension comes from taking a risk in faith with justice, peace, simple living and witness to God’s love.

In addition, Beatitudes are so stated as to release us from the tension of the present into the joy of the moment. In planning for tomorrow, the next day after that, or the next year, may our goals be joyful, hopeful, risky, moral and affirmations of the nearness of God: Beatitudes for the future.

Durham Monthly Meeting Minutes, November 19, 2017

November 19, 2017 Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends convened in worship on Sunday, November 19, 2017 with 17 people present. Clerk Sarah Sprogell read a passage from the Interim New England Faith and Practice spiritual life section on “Inward Retirement.”

1. Dorothy Hinshaw substituted as Recording Clerk in the absence of Susan Rice.

2. Ron Turcotte reported for Ministry and Counsel: a clearness committee for Liana Thompson Knight has met and recommended that she apply to the “Center for Courage and Renewal” founded by Parker Palmer and others, to be trained in their “Facilitator Preparation Program.” Ministry and Counsel will write a letter of support to be included in the application.

3. The meeting approved sending a letter of support for Liana Thompson Knight’s training.

4. Tess Hartford reported for Christian Education Committee: a) Christine Bagilieri, our Child Care Provider, had surgery and Jessica Sheldon has been hired as her substitute to provide childcare whenever Christine is away. b) A wreath making activity and pot luck lunch will be held Sunday, December 3rd . c) An advent candle lighting and song will replace the youth story/song in meeting for worship in December. We will not be telling the Godly Play Advent stories as we have the past few years. d) The annual Christmas program will take place on Saturday, December 16th from 5:00 to 7:00. Soup and sandwiches will be provided after a period of worship, and various offerings of songs, poems and stories. The committee requested that an offering that evening be donated to the Lewiston Immigrant and Refugee Center. A snow date will be posted. e) Martha Sheldon reported that the Adult Sunday School Class is reviewing the Interim Faith and Practice section on Membership. A new class topic will begin in January.

5. The meeting approved that a special offering be taken during the Christmas program to be sent to the Lewiston Immigrant and Refugee Center.

6. Youth Minister Wendy Schlotterbeck reported that she continues to work with the meeting youth who are upper elementary and middle school age. Activities include special events for families, for example the upcoming Wreath and decorating party, Dec. 3. The Halloween party planned for Oct. 30 was canceled due to the storm and power outage.

7. The Durham Meeting “Paid Position” ad hoc committee led by Doug Bennett gave a progress report. They stated that their aim is to make proposals to the meeting about how we can be a better, more vibrant meeting. They developed a template showing the functions and responsibilities of the meeting and are considering which of these functions or responsibilities might be better fulfilled by the addition of a part-time position. A list of tasks/functions and groups responsible is attached. Additional responsibilities were mentioned which might be added to the list. Doug reported that this ad-hoc committee recommends a time table: January monthly meeting, present a draft of 3 or 4 alternative models for a paid position, and present a final version of the alternative models for consideration and decision by the monthly meeting in February at which time this committee will be laid down. E-mail your feedback to Doug.

8. Linda Muller reported for the Peace and Social Concerns Committee: a) Many in Durham Friends Meeting and in the wider community are connecting with folks from other cultures and nations. We are planning an International Welcome Dinner for Friday, January 5 (snow day, January 6). We encourage all connected with Durham Meeting, hosts and exchange students to attend. Invite recent immigrants you have come to know as friends to join us. There will be a sign- up sheet for those attending. b) The committee is concerned as to how they can support those in meeting who are involved in peace and social concerns activities.

9. Margaret Wentworth reported that the Newsletter Committee has reviewed the guidelines for Friendly Notes reaffirming that the Newsletter List is not public; notes should be sent only for urgent reasons, such as: notice of deaths, accidents, or serious illness within the meeting community; previously unannounced special events that will occur before the next newsletter arrives; reminders of very special events; last minute changes; and youth events which need extra publicity.

10. Jo-an Jacobus reported that the Nominating Committee recommends that Margaret Wentworth be added to the committee in the place of Sukie Rice who will be the meeting clerk. The Committee also recommends the following names be approved to be added to the list of committees and officers: Martha Hinshaw Sheldon and Doug Bennett for Ministry and Counsel; Nancy Marstaller for Finance; Nancy Marstaller for Library, Ingrid Chalufour and Brown Lethem for Peace and Social Concerns; Scott Barksdale for Christian Education; Tess Hartford to extend her term on Christian Education for one more year. They recommend that the terms of the following Friends be extended for three years on their respective committees: Margaret Wentworth, David Dexter, and Jo-an Jacobus. A complete report will be made in December.

11. The meeting approved the addition of Margaret Wentworth to the Nominating Committee. It also approved all the other recommendations made for committee appointments by the Nominating Committee. The Minutes will be approved at the December Monthly Meeting.

The meeting adjourned at 1:30. Dorothy Hinshaw, Recording Clerk, pro tem

“How Can I Help You?” by Craig Freshley

A message by Craig Freshley on November 19, 2017.  You can listen to a recording of it here. Here is a partial text:

I’m going to retell a story that I heard from my friend Gary, I’ve colored in some of the details but basically it goes like this…

Gary was on a business trip for a month, in Bangkok. He was tired, ready to go home. He had been dealing with translators, restaurants, hotels, and difficult relations with business partners. He was headed home to New York, but he had to stop half way there. The flight from Bangkok to Abu Dhabi went well but when he walked into the airport, his heart sank. There were people everywhere: sleeping, talking on cell phones, babies being fed, crying. He made his way to the flight information board and saw his flight… cancelled. He was trying to get home for Thanksgiving. He was tired, hungry, and he kinda snapped. He was angry. He had been doing pretty well with the customers and the changes, but he didn’t need this.

He made his way to the customer service line, and figured he was about 40th. One ticket agent. Tempers flared, tears cried. As he waited, he planned his speech. He figured he was going to get about 3 minutes with this representative, a face-to-face conversation with the faceless corporation that had done him wrong.

After about 1 1/2 hours, he found himself maybe 4th or 5th in line, close enough to overhear what other people were saying, and he refined his speech. He heard the customer service representative. After each person walked away, she gathered herself, looked in the eyes of the next person, and she said, “How can I help you?” He watched her do this repeatedly.

Gary closed his eyes and meditated. He prayed for help, his prayer began with something like “Please help this woman get me to New York”. But then his mind wandered a little bit and he started thinking about her, wondering: Did she have kids? She was about his age. How does she get to the airport? Drive like everyone else and park in the same garage? Maybe she takes the bus – it must be a long bus ride; this airport is kinda far outside the city. Does she wear her uniform on the bus? Do they have to check in through TSA? Maybe… she was called in. Maybe she was called away from her family on short notice, to deal with all these cancellations… I wonder if this is a holiday in Abu Dhabi…

Suddenly he had a new way of looking at the situation and he decided – when I get up to the counter – I’m going to have an attitude of “How can I help you?” He threw out the old speech. He didn’t make a new speech, but he just cultivated a new attitude of ‘how can I help you?’

He decided that he was going to try to see the problem as “their” problem. Not her problem to solve for him. They were both just trying to do their jobs, both in a difficult situation that neither one of them asked for. He decided he was going to be polite, to be patient. He was going to offer her compassion and respect, he was going to provide a respite for her in between dozens of angry customers. And when he got to the counter, he did those things. He acted out the attitude and when they were done, and he was about to walk away, he thanked her for being so helpful.

Gary walked away from that customer service counter feeling better than when he had arrived at that customer service line, not because of what he got from the transaction, but because of what he gave. I never heard if Gary made it back for Thanksgiving. But I’m thinking that maybe it doesn’t matter so much. I suspect that Gary walked away from that counter proud of himself for flipping his attitude and brightening that gal’s day, and he was probably okay with the outcome, whatever it was. I’m guessing.

You know what else? The material outcome probably wouldn’t have changed one bit if he had used speech number one. To me, the story illustrates the power of prayer. To me, I haven’t really seen direct evidence that prayer changes outcomes. Not in a way that is scientifically, or evidence based defensible. I have seen that prayer changes attitudes. That’s what happened in this case. What matters is not the accounting ledger of how people have done me wrong versus how people have done me right. Stuff happens. Bad things happen to good people. I can get myself in such a knot, such a bad mood trying to keep track of that ledger and trying to manage that ledger. What matters is a feeling of peace and happiness. We are seduced into thinking that by managing the ledger, by trying to get more than I paid for, that’s going to bring me peace and happiness. But, there is a short cut. The short cut is a change in attitude. In Gary’s case, his attitude changed through prayer and meditation. Attitudes are contagious. I like to think that while Gary was at the customer service counter, having his conversation, a person 3 places back overheard a snippet of that conversation and a way opened for that person to see things in a new light.

“Transformation Towards Racial Justice” by Nancy Marstaller

From a message by Nancy Marstaller in October, 2017

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what God’s will is—God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

Transformation was the themeof yearly meeting this year. I was blessed to be able to attend and want to share a story from that meeting that has stuck with me.

Friend Xinef Afriam retold us the familiar story about a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, but added new information that I didn’t know and that gave us a whole new view of transformation- both for caterpillars and for humans. I was so intrigued, I looked up more about this when I got home.

As we know, after a time of eating and eating, a caterpillar finds a place to make a cocoon or chrysalis. Imagine the monarch butterfly caterpillar, which makes the wonderful J shape and spins its gold-decorated chrysalis around itself. But it’s not as simple as we think. There are cells, which are dormant in the caterpillar and called “imaginal cells.” It turns out that before hatching, when a caterpillar is still developing from an egg, it grows an imaginal disc for every adult body part it will need- such as eyes, wings, and so on. In some species, these imaginal discs remain dormant throughout the caterpillar’s life. In other species, the discs begin to take the shape of adult body parts even before the caterpillar forms a chrysalis or cocoon.

When the imaginal cells are awoken from dormancy, at first they operate independently as singlecelled organisms inside the caterpillar. They resonate at a different frequency so are regarded as threats and attacked by the caterpillar’s immune system, which digests some of them. But they persist, gradually multiply and grow stronger. The caterpillar’s immune system can’t keep up and the caterpillar digests itself. The imaginal cells survive, forming clusters and clumps. Because they resonate at the same frequency, they can communicate. They connect and become a multi-celled organism – a butterfly is formed!

What really struck me was that the caterpillar at first resisted this transformation, which got me pondering about how humans change.

There is a hymn we don’t sing often but did recently. The first verse is, “Once to every man and nation comes the moment to decide, in the strife of truth with falsehood, for the good or evil side. Some great cause, some great decision, off’ring each the bloom or blight, and the choice goes by forever ‘twixt that darkness and that light.” It terrified me as a young child. I worried that I had missed the moment, that somehow, I had chosen for evil, that I was doomed. As an older child, I felt our country had chosen for evil, that we had been slaveholders, didn’t give equal rights to all, were killing innocent civilians in Vietnam. But I also believed that there is that of God in everyone, meaning we could change, be better.

Now I realize that for most of us there is no one dramatic moment, but constant moments of choice throughout life in which we can choose right or wrong, better rather than worse. One of the ongoing discussions at yearly meeting and among many of us in our country is white supremacy. I feel like I am called to do something about overcoming it, and currently that is mostly reading. When talking with people of color at yearly meeting and hearing their stories, I was saddened and angered by the ongoing overt and structural racism that pervades our society. How one mother feared for her dark-skinned middle-schooler to go downtown in Castleton, Vermont, worrying what could happen just because of the color of his skin. Something I never even thought of as a mother of a fair-skinned boy. I am learning how privileged my life is in ways I have taken for granted – I don’t worry I will be discriminated against in any aspect of life because of my whiteness and that is SO different from the experience of many others.

So, I am praying, hoping, and visualizing that the “imaginal cells” that seek racial justice, that seek to do what is right, that seek to do God’s will, are growing within myself and within society. May we resonate at the same frequency, communicate and grow stronger, so that together we can bring more peace and justice into the world.

I’ll close with a passage from Psalm 19, to which I’ve added a line: O let the words of my mouth, the meditations of my heart, and the transformations of my life be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord.

“Setting the Web A-Tremble” by Sukie Rice

An excerpt from a recent message by Sukie Rice in October, 2017

“Humanity is like an enormous spider web, so that if you touch it anywhere, you set the whole thing trembling… As we move around this world and as we act with kindness, perhaps, or with indifference, or with hostility, toward the people we meet, we too are setting the great spider web a-tremble. The life that I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place and time my touch will be felt. Our lives are linked together.” (Frederick Buechner, 1926 – )

I have pondered this quotation many times; it makes me very aware how we “tremble each other’s webs” all the time. Sometimes in large ways, sometimes small, although we rarely know when it happens. An example: I’m a total grouch early in the morning. I would drive to school each morning, grumbling about all those children I was going to have to be nice to, wishing I could just be left alone. But then, in the parking lot, a child would run up to me exclaiming, “We have music today, Ms. Rice. I can’t wait!” “That’s great, Maryann, I’ll see you soon,” I’d say, and my grumbly web would be shaken. Then two boys would come up with, “Can we help you carry the autoharps, Ms. Rice? At home I’ve been singing that song you taught about Charlie on the MTA. And my mom knows it.” By the time I’d reach the school door, I’d be feeling chipper and looking forward to being with the children. They trembled my web. They never knew it.

Now here is a story of something major that happened this summer. Friends of Kakamega decided to provide a SunKing Solar Light for every child/youth in our program. For this we needed to raise over $8,000, a hefty amount. But because clean, renewable light in a home is so important, we made this commitment. It happened!

But it wouldn’t have happened without one of the people going on our summer trip to Kakamega, a college student named Liz, researching solar lights. She discovered this unique light, specifically designed for Kenyan homes and convinced Friends of Kakamega to make the big commitment. She trembled our imagination.

Backing up the web: Liz wouldn’t have gone on the trip except she had gone to school with Mitch Newlin, who has been to the Care Centre seven times and is now a valuable member of the Friends of Kakamega board. He trembled her web with stories of the Care Centre. But Mitch never would have gone to Kenya except he attended a benefit dinner at Durham Meetinghouse when he was 12 and exclaimed to his parents he wanted to go to Kakamega Care Centre when he was old enough. When he turned 16 in 2011, he went with his dad, John, and the rest is history for Mitch. The Care Centre has trembled his web in a huge way and his whole life will be different because of it.

The trembling doesn’t stop there. Durham Meeting wouldn’t have held that benefit dinner (and all the subsequent ones) except that Dorothy Selebwa, founder of the Kakamega Orphans Care Centre came to Durham Meeting one Sunday at the end of April 2002. She trembled my web and turned my life upside down, as this project has done for so many people: children and families in Kenya, and for Americans who have visited and experienced themselves the hope and miracle of the Care Centre.

There is more. I wouldn’t have been there to meet Dorothy, but I began to visit Durham Friends Meeting in 1980 and, although it was very different from my Quaker experience before, I wanted to return again and again. I was an odd duck for Durham, but the women welcomed me. Betty White, Charlotte White, Mary Curtis,

Lydia Rollins, Margaret, Clarabel. They made me feel so welcome and I wanted to make it my home.

So, because the women of Durham meeting trembled my spirit, I was there so Dorothy could tremble my web – and that of Durham Friends. Mitch’s web was trembled. His telling Liz about the project trembled her web. She decided to go, and did research on solar lights. Her research influenced Friends of Kakamega’s determination to provide solar lights for 260 homes, which has had a terrific impact on the lives (and webs) of so many people.

“Who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place and time my touch will be felt.” May we all keep trembling each other’s webs and let the trembling live on!

Durham Monthly Meeting Minutes, October 15, 2017

October 15, 2017

Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends convened in worship on Sunday, October 15, 2017 with 23 people present. Clerk Sarah Sprogell recalled some of the messages brought during worship this morning, which help us prepare inwardly for today’s meeting.

Sarah expressed appreciation for everyone’s presence.

1. Sarah Sprogell read minutes #1 and #2 from the July 16 Meeting for Business which presented the results from the surveys and listening session regarding the meeting’s experience as a semi-programed meeting without a pastor.

2. Ron Turcotte read the recommendation of Ministry and Counsel that Durham Meeting continue as a semi-programed meeting without a pastor, and that a committee be formed to look in the possibility of a stipend position for unmet needs. A discussion of deep sharing and consideration of important needs followed Ron’s report.

3. The meeting approved the recommendation of Ministry and Counsel to continue as a semi-programed meeting. It was approved that we continue, for the time being, without a part-time pastor as we have had in the past. It was also approved that Monthly Meeting form an ad hoc committee to develop a job description for a stipend position to address pastoral and other needs. The committee will explore alternative models to help us discern what might work best for us. The entire community is asked to hold in our hearts the concerns that we have heard for pastoral care, confidentiality, spiritual nurture and outreach. 3 of 6

4. Monthly Meeting appointed Doug Bennett, Sukie Rice, Martha Hinshaw Sheldon and Jo-an Jacobus for the ad hoc committee to develop a stipend position. Joyce Gibson will be asked if she wishes to join this group as well.

5. Reports from the Youth Minister and Christian Education were read.

a) Christian Education celebrated World Quaker Day on October 1.

b) On October 15, several youth and adults went to Passadumkeag for the Wabanaki Fall Festival to support our Maine indigenous community.

c) October 30 there will be a Harvest-Halloween party.

d) Our childcare worker will be absent during October and most of November. Others with background checks are being asked to help.

e) Christian Ed recommends Saturday, December 16 for the Christmas program. They are developing ideas for Advent and how to mark this season.

6. The Youth Minister and Christian Education reports were accepted, and approval was given for the dates of October 30th for the Harvest-Halloween party and December 16 for the Christmas program.

7. Trustees corrected the September Monthly meeting minute for Trustees. Item #7a, line 9 should read “Money received for the purchase of plots as well as for perpetual care goes into the cemetery fund held by Trustees.

8. Newsletter Committee asks that the editor be informed each month of the following:

a) Names of those bringing messages;

b) Names of those sharing spiritual journeys during the 4th Sunday adult school class;

c) When committees meet;

d) When youth and other meetings and activities occur

“This I believe” will become a featured article again, with David Dexter overseeing it.

9. The meeting approved that Woman’s Society collect donations for the Kickapoo Friends Center during the month of November.

10. Sukie Rice brought the Finance Report for January 1-September 30, 2017. Revenue for the Operating Account was $37,304 (69% of our budgeted amount for the year). Expenses were $28,892 (61% of the budgeted amount).

The balance for the General Fund is $28,414 and the balance for the Capital account is $5617.

The report was approved with much appreciation for the good financial condition we are in this year. Committees are asked to communicate with Finance Committee about their needs for the 2018 Budget.

11. The Woodbury Fund is currently in a bank CD, coming due at the end of October. The meeting approved that the money be taken out of CD when it matures and put into a new savings account. At that time Finance Committee can look into alternatives to a CD for the Woodbury Fund.

12. The meeting adjourned in the Spirit at 2:50.

Sukie Rice, Recording Clerk