Since March 22, Durham Friends Meeting has been conducting worship via Zoom rather than in our Meetinghouse.  We have been gratified to see good participation in Meeting during these months of physical isolation from one another.  We know that there are some members of the Meeting who are eager to have us return to the Meetinghouse to worship together.  At the same time, we know there are many among us for whom catching the virus could be life threatening — a risk not worth running. For the foreseeable future the Meeting will continue to worship primarily via Zoom.  At the same time, we have started experimenting with a hybrid form of worship in which we will worship via Zoom and some people will worship in the Meetinghouse using electronic devices to connect to Zoom.  As we move forward, we will let you know when it is possible for some to return to worship in the Meetinghouse and what you should do if and when you do come to the Meetinghouse.  Everyone who comes to the Meetinghouse will be asked to wear masks and maintain safe social distance from one another.  There will continue to be no shared refreshments. We are likely to continue holding worship primarily via Zoom until a vaccine or proven anti-viral medicines are developed.  All future decisions and formats are dependent on CDC recommendations. Finding ways to worship together and at the same time ensuring the safety of all of our members continue to be our two guiding stars.  We appreciate the assistance New England Yearly Meeting and others have given us as we learn the possibilities and potential pitfalls of such hybrid worship.

We will be adapting and adjusting as we proceed. It is our hope that this format will allow for more people to be a part of our worshiping community.  It is our hope that we can come together to support, encourage and walk with each other in this time of challenge and unknowingness.   May the spirit of love and peace be our guide.  — From Members of Ministry and Counsel: Martha Hinshaw Sheldon, clerk, Doug Bennett, Renee Cote, Joyce Gibson, Tess Hartford, Brown Lethem, Wendy Schlotterbeck.

From her husband, Lee:

Dear Friends,

Sukie passed on at noon today. Her last hours–from early this morning forward–went quickly. Even though she was unconscious, or turned deeply inward, during much of that time, there was a determination about those hours, a focus, like that of the long-distance runner who will not stop or be stopped till the finish line is crossed.

 Her last days–there have been eighteen of them since she ceased eating and drinking–were punctuated again and again by the surprising and generous idea, the loving suggestion, the gentle imperative, and the general putting in order of virtually all things within her reach (of course, because she’s never hesitated to call upon others to lend a hand, her reach remained very long indeed). 

As most of you know, Sukie staunchly believed in the reality of a spiritual world. She did not have a fear of death, perhaps intuiting, as Walt Whitman said, 

            “All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
            And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.”

As I sit here writing this, I find myself convinced that some confirmation of that intuition can probably be found in the radiantly peaceful, beautiful expression on the face of her body–which, thanks to Sarah, Pat, and Joan, lies freshly washed, dressed, and at rest now under a purple Kenya cloth in the next room.

But enough. Other than to let you know that the end of her life happened today, I have no more important thing to say than this: She loved you. You enriched her life. She was profoundly grateful for that. And she wouldn’t mind my adding that (as I think some of you may already have been reminded by her) not only will she not miss you, she will be with you, now and in times to come.   — Lee

From her friend, Sarah Hyde:

Our dearest Sukie crossed the threshold today [July 17]. She took flight with such beauty and courage!  

Now we begin a three-day Vigil in which we honor her passing, her extraordinary life. We welcome you to come and visit her body in her home for the next three days. Our experience in being a part of a vigil is to visit, to come and sit at her kitchen table, laugh, cry, share your stories of Sukie and what you loved about her, Then, if you wish, go and sit with her in Silence, prayer, singing a song she loved, reciting or reading a poem or scripture… .whatever you are moved to do with her for 5-15 minutes. We consider this Vigil a period of time that helps to carry Sukie across the waters to the next world. Someone will be at her home throughout the day- the Chisholm family at night, Pat Chanterelle, Joan Mueller and I will be there during the day from 10 am-7 pm. We welcome anyone who would like to visit with Sukie.

We ask that you please wear masks and dress warmly. Though it is supposed to be quite warm this weekend, we will have the room very cold with an air conditioner to help her body and its 3-day passage. We have made a Google Doc  that you can use to sign up for a specific time slot identifying when you would like to visit. Here is the link.  Thank you all for your kind words and support of Sukie throughout the past few months. She looks beautiful and peaceful; she’s heading home.

Below is a description written by Lee with regard to a 3-day Vigil- it is beautiful. If you would like more information beyond this click on the link he offers- it is very helpful. Much Love and Reverence for Sukie and this very sacred time together, — Sarah Hyde

The Three-Day Vigil

As many of you have heard, Sukie and I all this winter, spring, and summer have been feeding—and watching—the birds. Just as each species has its own look, flight pattern, song, so too each also has its own way of eating at our bird feeder. My personal favorite is probably the chickadee. Nothing greedy there. The little fellow alights, takes one plump seed, pauses (just for a second), and springs into the air, gleefully victorious, with its prize in its beak.

That may be a helpful image—chickadee version—of a brief time that follows death. Sukie and I believe that, with the last breath, the soul detaches from the body, but it does not simultaneously or instantaneously detach from its life. Indeed, all the people, places, things, and events it has encountered during its life lie before it—or so we have come to believe– in a vast panorama.  A panorama, or tableau, that one experiences over the course of approximately three days…and from the fruits of this experience, one takes (makes, shapes, and creates as well, perhaps) a “seed.”

If all this is so (and many a cultural tradition as well as the teachings of Rudolf Steiner, who founded among other things the first Waldorf School, say that it is so), these three days are very special. Vigil or no vigil, each of us who knew Sukie—who have brought to her (and I quote her last letter, “great happiness as you have traveled your journey intermingling with mine”—is clearly a part of that retrospective tableau.

And during the vigil—whether you sit for a time in the room where her physical body rests or, from a distance, picture her as you knew her in life, and think of her (or read a poem to her,  sing to her, remember something you did together with her, speak to her of what she has meant to you in your life, etc—you help her. You support her. You become as if part of the pole or perch upon which the chickadee pauses, ever so briefly (three days is not a long time where eternity is concerned), before it springs into the light-filled air with that seed in its beak.

For more on the three-day vigil from another’s perspective, check out Nancy Poer’s article from an old issue of Lilipoh, here.

April 9, 2020

We’re so glad you are willing to participate in our Zoom Meeting for Worship. While less-than-ideal, we find this a helpful way to gather in spite of our need to keep our distance. We try to make our Zoom Meeting reverent and as similar as possible to the meetings in our Meetinghouse. Note: you will need a password and we’ve sent this out via e-mail. If you don’t have it, please ask another member of the meeting.

To join you will need the following information:

• Meeting Link        https://zoom.us/j/2814426094
• Meeting ID           281-442-6094
• Password            Ask a Friend if you don’t have it or send e-mail to dougb@earlham.edu
• Phone number     301-715-8592, or 929-205-6099, or 312-626-6799,
• or: 669-900-6833, 253-215-8782, 346-248-7799

To Join by screen:

• Click on the meeting link
• Allow the page to open zoom.us.app
• Enter the Durham Friends Zoom Meeting password (ask a Friend if you don’t have it)
• You will be put on hold until you are admitted by the Host

If you have trouble trying to join by screen

• If you receive a prompt that says “This Meeting is Authorized for Attendees only” it means you have a Zoom account but are not logged into it. Click “Sign in to join”
  • Enter your email address and the password associated with your Zoom account
  • Enter the Durham Friends Zoom Meeting password (ask a Friend if you don’t have it)
• If you receive a prompt that says “When prompted, select Open with and then OK,” click OK or Download here.
  • Work through a series of prompts to install software. You may need to provide your computer username and password (the username and password used to access administrative features on your computer).
  • After installing software automatically, if the Zoom Meeting doesn’t automatically launch, find where the software is installed on your computer and double click it to launch (On a Mac use Finder to find it in Downloads or in Applications. On a PC use Explorer to find it in Downloads or Programs)

To Join by Phone:

• Dial 301-715-8592
• When prompted enter the meeting ID 281-442-6094 followed by #
• When asked for the Participant ID, enter #
• Enter the Password when asked (ask a Friend if you don’t have it)

Timing:

Join the Meeting anytime after 10:15am on any Sunday. Like entering our Meeting Room in Durham, this is quiet time unless absolutely necessary to speak up because you are having some sort of technical difficulty. The Meeting will formally begin around 10:30, opened by the Meeting Leader. The Meeting will typically end around 11:30 followed by informal and un-moderated fellowship time for catching up with each other.

Your name as it appears to others:

Please write your first and last name when joining. To change how your name appears after the meeting has started, open the Participant list by clicking the participant icon at the bottom of the scree, find yourself on the list and mouse over your name, click more, click rename.

To Unmute:

All are muted upon entering the meeting. To unmute if participating by screen, press the space bar on your keyboard or unmute yourself by clicking the microphone icon in the bottom left of your screen. To unmute if participating by phone, press *6 to unmute or mute.

To Raise Your Hand:

By screen, raise your hand as usual. Make sure your Video is unmuted.

By phone, press *9.

There are times when raising a hand is not necessary to speak. Use your judgment. If people are waiting to be called on, it is the Meeting Leader who calls on people.

Chat:

By clicking the Chat icon at the bottom of your screen you can send written messages to the whole meeting or to specific people. Phone participants don’t have access to these chat messages. If you want something to be conveyed to the whole meeting, raise your hand and say it out loud.

Hymns:

When it’s time for a hymn someone will play it on piano for all to hear. Words will be provided in advance or on the screen. You are encouraged to sing along but only if you are on mute. It doesn’t work well for anyone to be singing unmuted because it overrides the piano. If you are singing unmuted, the Host might mute you.

Roles:

Meeting Leader (also know as Care of Worship)

• Opens and closes the meeting
• Says when we’re doing what
• Handles announcements and calling on people as needed

Host (also known as Zoom Support):

• Serves as Zoom Host
• Let’s people enter the Meeting
• Handles muting and unmuting people as needed
• Activates and de-activates break-out rooms as needed (such as children having a meeting in another “room”)
• Shares and un-shares words to hymns at appropriate times (someone needs to share a words-to-hymns document with the Host in advance).

Uneasy about Zoom?

Before joining our Zoom Meeting you can do a test Zoom Meeting here: https://tinyurl.com/y3p2v4db. Also at this website are answers to many questions about Zoom. If you have additional questions or troubles, please contact Craig@Freshley.com.

UPDATE 3/19/20: Sunday Worship will be conducted via ZOOM until further notice.

Meeting link:     https://zoom.us/j/2814426094      Click here to join by video and audio
Phone number:     +1 301 715 8592    Dial this to join by audio only
Meeting ID:    281 442 6094  

You will also need a password that has been sent via e-mail. If you don’t have it, ask another member of the Meeting.

Together with every other organization and community across the globe, Durham Friends Meeting is faced with questions about what to do with the threat of possible Coronavirus infection in our midst.  Some of the answers will have to be made together, and others are for each individual or family to answer on their own.

We are a worship community.  Gathering together is what we do.  We gather for worship, for prayer, for study, for support, for fellowship and for fun.  In normal times, we gather strength from gathering together.  But in the current situation, we may do each other harm. 

The situation is likely to change.  We’ll be learning more about the risks and best approaches.  We expect that the current situation will last at least until the end of May.  Members of Ministry and Counsel, together with the Clerk, will monitor the situation and make decisions.  We’ll send out information on e-mail, and we’ll try to see that those who do not receive e-mail receive phone calls. 

For the present, here is how we will proceed. 

• We will have 1^st Day Worship each Sunday as regularly scheduled.  Please attend via Zoom.  As always, someone from Ministry and Counsel will be responsible for Care of Worship.  There will be a prepared message most Sundays. And someone will provide tech support for our use of Zoom.

Various committees of the Meeting are gathering using Zoom, but all other events have been cancelled.

We need to care for one another.  Please stay in touch by phone, e-mail and other means.  By all means ask questions of M&C if you have them, and we will try to answer them or point you to someone who can. 

With God’s love and strength, and with support from one another, we will get through this.

Martha Hinshaw Sheldon, Co-Clerk of the Meeting

Sukie Rice, Co-Clerk of the Meeting

Doug Bennett              Tess Hartford

Renee Cote                 Joyce Gibson

Brown Lethem            Wendy Schlotterbeck

By Hassan El-Tayyab, FCNL, January 3, 2020

From the Friends Committee on National Legislation

Last night, the Trump administration assassinated Maj. Gen. Qasem Soleimani, the military commander of Iran’s Quds Force. This is a dangerous escalation of the confrontation with Iran, one that will lead to more bloodshed, and expand conflict and instability throughout the Middle East.Stop the March to War with Iran

As a Quaker organization we hold firm to the faith that war is not the answer. Our lawmakers have repeatedly failed to stop the march to war with Iran and return our nation to the path of diplomacy. This moment calls for political courage.

The House and Senate have introduced bills, H.R. 2354 and S. 1039, that would ensure the president cannot take military action against Iran without congressional authorization – except in response to an attack on America or its armed forces.

Congress has the power to prevent war with Iran. It must exercise its constitutional authority now. Urge them to act.

Statement from FCNL: FCNL Condemns Assassination; Urges Congress to Oppose Escalation of Deadly Conflict with Iran