{"id":8876,"date":"2026-09-07T10:30:37","date_gmt":"2026-09-07T14:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/?p=8876"},"modified":"2026-09-07T10:30:39","modified_gmt":"2026-09-07T14:30:39","slug":"love-in-practice-by-shelley-randall","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/?p=8876","title":{"rendered":"“Love in Practice,” by Shelley Randall"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Message given at Durham Friends Meeting, September 6, 2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last Sunday, when we — that is Allison, Lidia and I — were freaking out about the next day being their first day of school, we ended up at the Days Ferry United Church of Christ Sunday Service.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Minister, Lucia, read the story about Owen and Mzee<\/a>. Owen was a baby hippo rescued in Kenya after being swept from his homeland and family as a result of the tsunami in 2004. He landed at an animal sanctuary in Kenya next to Mzee, a 130 year old tortoise where he thrived, until he got to be too big to be safe around his friend and mentor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The moral of course is that we can seek refuge and be loved by those that are vastly different from ourselves, and\/or that we can provide refuge to those that are vastly different from ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same message from each perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can relate to this story \u2013 feeling like I\u2019m 130 years old having taken under my wing \u2013 babes. From a different culture, a different country but with all the willingness to find safety, to be nurtured and to learn. And conversely to provide companionship, play and devotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What did it take for the 130 year old tortoise to provide safety and respite to the young hippo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mzee was required to show patience to the young hippo. He wasn\u2019t used to companionship by a hippo \u2013 He had lived decades by himself at the sanctuary \u2013 maybe, occasionally companioned by some birds. His routines were firmly in place. He ate, he bathed and generally enjoyed his solitude and contemplative life. But the young hippo was insistent, he demanded of the old tortoise and the tortoise responded with patience and a willingness to learn. Together they came up with a system of communication that entailed gentle nudges. It became apparent that the old tortoise required that they, he and Owen, eat together and finish their meal together before gently ambling off to bathe in the pond. In this way they committed to each other and were a unit, sharing their routines, compromising and companioning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learning from each other requires not only commitment and willingness but also general curiosity about the other. We can\u2019t develop meaningful relationship unless we want to know about the other: their desires, their interests; what brings them joy, what makes them sad. Underpinning this curiosity must be humility. I may know my needs and interests but how am I to know another\u2019s unless I am open to learning about them, setting aside what I think is right or true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This seems very complicated but to Owen and Mzee it appeared instinctual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To us humans this process of willingness, commitment and humility may have been instinctual at one point also but perhaps has become deeply buried under layers of the insistence that the mind is all important. That intellectualizing, strategizing and rationalizing is what has brought about the modern world. And that may be true but to my way of thinking, to the detriment of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love has gotten buried under all the thinking. Our energy has become firmly ensconced in our brain, it has left our heart. And now, for me, it takes a concerted effort each morning to sit in stillness and direct the energy from my brain into my heart. And what a place of warmth and comfort my heart is \u2013 I\u2019ve found. Because it is in my heart that I find God and can then make sense of what it is to be human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Richard Rohr, the Jesuit Priest, writes from Romans Chapter 8 verse 9 the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The true self is the Divine Indwelling<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Holy Spirit within us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The true self is the Divine part of us that is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Great enough, Deep enough Gracious enough<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To fully accept the human part of us.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I find the Holy Spirit within my heart. And once I do, it is as if a wave of solace washes over me. I find relaxation, stability and guidance within the opening and expansion of my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then all things are clear. I can accept that I am going to make mistakes \u2013 this leads to the humility required to ask questions, to be curious about another\u2019s experience, another\u2019s perspective. I can accept that others are going to make mistakes. I can accept that I am not like others and there will be others that I don\u2019t agree with \u2013 I can accept what life has offered me despite a difference in what I thought my life\u2019s plan was to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The minister Lucia raised the issue that perhaps it is fear that prevents us from being open to others \u2013 the fear rising out of lack: lack of jobs, economic stability perhaps and I would add to the list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lack of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we do not experience the warmth and comfort of love or Spirit, our hearts close up, shut down and all the energy recedes back to the brain and thinking about material comforts. What thing can make me feel\u2026. happy, relaxed, healthy. We can spend hours thinking about different arguments for and against, thinking about what we should say or what others ought to do, how others should act. We lose sight of our own humanity, that we were born to make mistakes \u2013 it is a vital component around the learning process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How often have we told ourselves \u2013 \u201cWell, I\u2019ll never do THAT again! And so we\u2019ve learned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without experiencing love within ourselves we lose sight of the expansive capacity of our hearts to provide support and comfort to others, no matter their differences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We now live in a time we thought had long passed, we were progressing towards solving problems for the greater good of the earth and the earth\u2019s inhabitants and perhaps we feel like we have come to a full stop and in fact are going backwards, back to rugged individualism: I\u2019m taking mine because I\u2019m better at thinking and strategizing and manipulating. And, for me, that is an accurate assessment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So what are we as Friends\/Quakers to do. What are we to do. And whatever we do, is it enough?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will repeat Richard Rohr\u2019s words \u2013 that the Holy Spirit is found within us \u2013 allowing us to fully accept ourselves (and others I would add) with grace, knowing that we are enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And again how do we get to that place of knowing we are enough \u2013 for me it is not by thinking it. It is by experiencing a heart full of love. And how do I get there? By asking my brain to quiet itself and directing my attention to that holy place in my chest \u2013 my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is here in my heart that I find God and I can ask, what would LOVE do? What is the most loving thing I can do in the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is not always easy or straight forward. I\u2019ve had to make some very difficult choices in the last several weeks involving relationships that have caused me to experience<\/strong> a great deal of sadness. And it is here that I choose my words carefully \u2013 caused me to experience<\/strong> a particular thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I say this knowing that that thing, as an experience, is temporary.  As are all things and situations. Our life here on this planet is temporary, perhaps this planet is temporary. We don\u2019t know. And that\u2019s just it. We don\u2019t know. Some things we think we know but everything is subject to change. This, perhaps, is what makes it so difficult for us now \u2013 the uncertainty. Clearly, we were fed a lot of nonsense when we were taught if we just followed a particular path, our lives, our world would turn out a particular way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not so \u2013 we find out, rather late in the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how do we pivot. How do we manage ourselves, how do we manage our now shattered expectations about our lives and the world around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let us return to our hearts, let us return the energy to our hearts and find the answers in love. What would love do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do we love ourselves and love others. How do we respect ourselves, our strengths and weaknesses and those around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do we remain curious about others and the state of the world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I return to Owen and Mzee. Their openness, willingness, and their commitment to their relationship, to companionship and to love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To exude this commitment to Love and to share this commitment to Love is enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the wonder of it all! If I stay the course of love where will this take me?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Message given at Durham Friends Meeting, September 6, 2026 Last Sunday, when we — that is Allison, Lidia and I — were freaking out about the next day being their first day of school, we ended up at the Days … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":213,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-message"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9rLvf-2ja","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/213"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8876"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8877,"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8876\/revisions\/8877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.durhamfriendsmeeting.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}