Message given at Durham Friends Meeting, July 12, 2026
Morning Y’all,
Some of you know that I check in with a message about things that are on my mind, and today is one of those days. Our Ministry & Council group has just finished our discussion group on Parker Palmer’s book first published in 2011, Healing the Heart of Democracy: The Courage to Create A Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit (revisions 2014 & 2024). Each of the four sessions brought an average of 8 folks to the table bringing their questions, impressions of the chapters, and ideas of how we can strengthen our sense of democracy that is more inclusive with a greater sense of ‘We the People’. ‘What more can We the People’ do to resist the breaking down of how some of us interpret our Constitution and how it protects us as a people? Some of the actions of our government are indeed frightening and destructive of what some of us hold dear about seeking and sustaining our personal freedoms, as well as those who continue to come from afar, to seek theirs. “America’s freedom” represents the fundamental liberties guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, defined primarily in the Bill of Rights. These core rights include freedom of speech, religion, and the press, alongside the right to assemble peacefully and bear arms.
Parker uses quotes from others that reflect questions for us to ponder about his five habits to heal the heart of democracy, and this one from Terry Tempest Williams (author, conservationist, currently writer-in residence at the Harvard Divinity School) was riveting and memorable for me:
“The human heart is the first home of democracy. It is where we embrace our questions. Can we be equitable? Can we be generous? Can we listen with our whole beings, not just our minds, and offer our attention rather than just our opinions? And do we have enough resolve in our hearts to act courageously, relentlessly, without giving up—ever—trusting our fellow citizens to join us in our determined pursuit of a living democracy?” Healing the Heart of Democracy, 2011, chapter 3, p. 49)
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I want to jump from there to comment on how we usually function as humans! We tend to address issues or concerns as they arise, as a problem occurs. Preventive measures? Not so much! Planning ahead for your health? Or in my case, trying to figure out retirement while my body is just trying to survive its deteriorating conditions? What is your heart, your spirit focused on now? Are you thinking primarily about your own concerns or interests, and cannot be thinking about democracy or citizenry? Many young women of today think that sexism is over in our country, and that we have equality in most work spaces! Some African-Americans I know lament that we are still fighting for equal rights? Folks, sustaining equity and equal rights is an ongoing struggle.
If you are not a citizen yet, your legal status is top of mind! Even if you are an immigrant with legal status, you are feeling anxious, maybe less for yourself, but for your family or community. If you just lost that promotion to a younger, less experienced person, you are thinking about equality. In my new part-time job, I am reminded weekly about the distressingly high unemployment rate of many disabled people, like my clients with autism.
“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth” Muhammad Ali
“Work is the rent you pay for the room you occupy on earth”. Queen Elizabeth
Do you understand your responsibility in life? Your purpose? Your relationship with Spirit? With God? With this Quaker community?
I find myself in the process of re-defining what I am supposed to be doing with my life in retirement. Years ago, I learned that I am best suited for a life of service, of hospitality, especially given how fortunate I am with supporting parents who provided a formal education for me. I no longer have the structure of a workday and week, or the pressure of earning so much to meet the needs of children and family. This doesn’t mean I haven’t had challenges in the past and even now! We are still major supporters of a child with a life-long mental illness, and a grandson who is currently in jail. (And by the way, he seems to be learning something about not repeating the same crime!) But, what is my neighborly responsibility, and how do I now define my neighbors? Our banner outside tells of to Love our Neighbors—No Exceptions!
In Matthew 22:36-40, (New International Version) we are told that Jesus was asked which is the greatest commandment?
Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second it like unto it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.
THOSE WORDS ARE ALWAYS SO BROAD! HOW DO WE LOVE GOD AS DEFINED HERE? AND WHO IS OUR NEIGHBOR?
In 1 John 2: 3-6, we are told, If you love me, keep my commandments.
Y’all remember them:
- No other gods
- No graven images
- Not taking the Lord’s name in vain
- Keeping the sabbath holy
- Honoring Mother & Father
- Not killing
- Not committing adultery
- Not stealing
- Not bearing false witness
- Not coveting what others have
I would add: Don’t hold grudges—forgiving people is hard work. Repairing relationships is also hard!
How you discern where you are with your heart/spirit at this time, is for you to contemplate. Citizen responsibilities? Raising kids right? Going to church on Sunday? Abiding by the golden rule? There are so many Quaker resources at your disposal for figuring out what is happening with your heart now. Many folks in our community have a lot of experience to help with your discernment, and also are willing to share how they figured out what’s happening in various times their lives. Our New England Yearly Meeting website, quarterly meetings, annual meetings, our library, our elders, etc. (neym.org) TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEART!
Here are some words form our Faith & Practice which reflects our Quaker beliefs. “An aspect of Grace is that Spirit—which we believe is in each of us—activated or not, y’all) communicates with us in words, images, and feelings that engage us. It is our task as individuals and as meetings to discover how to live faithfully a path we have been given. (Discerning that path!) Everyone has responsibility for ministry!
The Spirit may break into our lives in powerful moments of altered consciousness or clarity. The Spirit may also work in a gradual unfolding of understanding and confidence. Often our lives contain a combination of both. What matters is living with integrity, faithful to our own experience. (Section 1, Faith & Practice 2014)
At our best, Friends live according to inner, rather than outward, promptings. The Inward Teacher is experienced as full of grace, eternal, not belonging to the self but entirely at the self’s center. This inner voice is the basis of our spiritual being and how we discern our values. No outside authority, be it church, government, employer, or family, speaks to us with the same authority or power.
Interim F&P, Section III, p. 182, “A Peculiar People”
But my last quote is from a newly found author of mine, Fredrick Buechner, minister and award-winning writer of over 30 books. I highly recommend his works to you; he is easy to read, reinterprets biblical stories with even more memorable characters, and paints life as with God as adventurous.
As you learn to listen to your life and what God is doing in it, you will uncover the plot of your life’s story and the sacred opportunity to connect with the divine in each moment…
Pay attention, says Buechner. Listen to the call of a bird or the rush of the wind, to the people who flow in and out of your life. The ordinary points you to the extraordinary God who created and loves all creation, including you. Pay attention to these things as if your life depends upon it. Because, of course, it does. How to Stop, Look, and Listen to Life: The Remarkable Ordinary (2017)
