Durham Monthly Meeting Minutes, March 17, 2024

Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends met for the conduct of business on Sunday, March 17, 2024 with 8 people in attendance at the Meetinghouse and 6 attending by Zoom.

  1. Meeting Opening

Nancy Marstaller opened the meeting with a poem “How Good to Center Down”, from the book Meditations from the Heart by Howard Thurman.

  1. Approval of Clerk and Recording Clerk pro tem
  2. Nancy Marstaller was approved as Clerk of the day.
  3. Sarah Sprogell was approved as Recording Clerk pro tem.
  1. Approval of Minutes of February 2024

Meeting approved the February minutes.

  1. Schedule of presiding clerks

The clerks group set up a rotation for presiding clerks for the year 2024.  Clerks will preside over monthly meetings, review clerk’s mail, and be available as needed to work with members and others on issues that arise during those months.  The schedule is as follows:

Jan. thru Mar. – Nancy Marstaller

April thru June – Sarah Sprogell

July thru Oct. – Tess Hartford

Nov. thru Dec. – Ingrid Chalufour

  1. Clearness Committees for Mimi Marstaller and Kristna Evans to travel to Cuba in 2025

Mimi read her letter of interest, and requested a clearness committee for her intent to travel to Cuba with the Puente de Amiga delegation. The letter is attached.

Kristna was not present, but has also expressed interest in traveling with the same delegation and would like a clearness committee.

  1. The Meeting approved a clearness committee for Mimi with Kim Bolshaw, Sarah Sprogell and Wendy Schlotterbeck serving on the committee.
  2. The Meeting also approved a clearness committee for Kristna with Kim Bolshaw, Tess Hartford and Mimi Marstaller serving on the committee.
  3. First reading of Charlotte Anne Curtis Memorial Minute

Dorothy Curtis read the memorial minute aloud.  It is also available as an attachment.

  1. Meeting approved the minute with appreciation.
  1. Second reading of Sue Wood Memorial Minute

Tess read the memorial minute aloud.  It is also available as an attachment.

  1. Meeting approved the minute with appreciation.
  1. Peace and Social Concerns report and letter to Brunswick Topsham Land Trust

The report and letter are attached.

Ingrid gave an update on the book project. The first guidebook on creating an anti-bias classroom has been completed and sent to Martha Hinshaw Sheldon for editing.  The next guidebook is in process.  It focuses on how to set up a book project like this one, and will be sent to each monthly meeting within NEYM.

The session to discern FCNL priorities is rescheduled for April14 at rise of meeting.

A film titled Common Ground film will be shown at the meetinghouse on April 26 at 7pm.  It is made available by Interfaith Light and Power.  It explores agricultural practices that can help heal the soil, our health and the planet.

The committee is asking approval of a letter to Brunswick/Topsham Land Trust requesting their support for renaming the 250th Anniversary Park in Brunswick.    Ingrid read the letter aloud.  Once approved, Ingrid will send the letter via email.

  1. The meeting approved the letter, and felt that it was masterfully written.
  1. Finance Committee report

The report is attached.

Nancy highlighted that  our new bookkeeper, Amanda Whidden, will start this month.

The financial review for 2022 and 2023 was completed by Marian Dalton and Robb Spivey for 2022.  They found that the records were in good order.  They recommended some changes that will be implemented by the committee.  If anyone wants to see the full report, they should contact Nancy.

  1. Ministry and Counsel report

The Easter Service on March 31st will include Zoom access.  The program will include readings of the Easter story and related hymns.

Nancy read the State of Society Report, which included two possible opening paragraphs.  The report was well-received by all. The report is attached.

  1. The meeting approved the report using the first opening paragraph.
  2. The meeting also approved substituting the last sentence of the alternative paragraph in place of the one originally used in the first paragraph.

Nancy read the proposal from the MCC search committee, recommending the composition and role of an oversight committee for Meeting Care Coordinator.  Please see the attached report for more details.

  1. The meeting approved the proposal.  Rene, Ingrid, someone from Communications, and the rotating clerk will serve on this committee.

The clearness committee for Diana White’s membership is in full support of transferring her membership from Portland Meeting to Durham.  They recommend that the meeting approve her transfer. Diana was present and told us that her health has taken a serious turn, and that she will be moving in with her daughter who lives in Fayette, ME.

  1. The meeting approved Diana’s transfer with warmth and loving care.
  1.  Consideration of letter re Israel and Palestine

Leslie Manning, our Meeting Care Coordinator, drafted a proposed Minute on Palestine and Israel.  Nancy read the letter aloud.  It is also attached.  The letter was well-received, with a few suggestions made, and some discussion that it could be too long for a letter to the editor.

  1. The meeting approved the Minute, adding Ramallah Friends School as a correction, and re-wording the last sentence to say “We pray that this not be done in our name.”
  2. We approved that Leslie make adjustments as needed for public distribution.
  1. Trustees report

Sarah reviewed the attached report, highlighting the financial review and suggestions made by Robb Spivey and Marian Dalton who carried out the review.  Trustees will be following up on their suggestions. 

  1.  Statistical report

Sarah reviewed the attached report that will also be forwarded to Quarterly Meeting and the Yearly Meeting.  In 2023 we received one resignation and one new member, for a total membership of 96.  Our numbers have been reducing gradually over the years, but for now are remaining relatively stable.  There are usually about 20-24 members and attenders at meeting for worship in the meetinghouse and on zoom, and an average of 13 people at meeting for business.

  1.  Library Committee

Nancy reported that Dot says the library is running out of space.  She asks that if anyone finds a book they think should be removed, please pull it out and set it aside for Dot to review.

  1.  Closing

Clerk closed with a reading from Dwight Wilson’s book Modern Psalms of Solace and Resistance.   During the pandemic, Dwight wrote a psalm each day.  This psalm was written on March 17.

You are a connoisseur of beauty.

May we use Your taste as our pattern.

Even Your smallest surprises bring joy.

You let them flow in rivulets instead of waiting

For days that we designate as holidays.

Patience is the key to living beside You.

Not always do we rejoice as the road turns.

But when we keep the faith,

We notice that wonderful things happen every day.

Your design shines through the darkest moments.

We celebrate Your love as we celebrate

Our lives as enthusiastic servants.

You bring eternal joy, the prize that

Mitigates meanness and transforms oppression.

Respectfully submitted by Sarah Sprogell, recording clerk pro tem.

Agenda and Materials for Durham Monthly Business Meeting, February 18, 2024

The agenda, reports and other materials for the February 18, 2024 business meeting of Durham Monthly Meeting can be found HERE

Agenda for DMMF Monthly Meeting Feb. 2024

Opening reading

Approval of Nancy Marstaller as clerk for meeting

  1. Approval of last month’s minutes
  2. Approval of Margaret Wentworth memorial minute
  3. Reading of Sue Wood memorial minute
  4. Finance Committee
    • 2023 End of year budget report
      • 2023 Annual report
  5. Ministry and Counsel report
  6. Trustees report
  7. P&SC report
  8. Library Committee Annual Report
  9. Other

Kitsie Hildebrandt, 1952-2023

Posted here with permission of her family

Katharine Booth Hildebrandt, 8/10/1952 – 7/5/2023

Katharine “Kitsie” (or “Kit”) Hildebrandt grew up in Ohio and moved to Maine after attending Earlham College in Indiana.

In Maine she met her husband, William Beazley and they were married for 47 years, until her death. Together they lived an unusual, adventurous life that included years aboard a wooden sailboat with their infant firstborn, several small homes without running water, building their own home, raising 2 children, and returning to sailing on their lively trimaran. ]

Kitsie was a wonderful mother to her 2 children, Sarah Guite and Willis Beazley. She was at every sporting event, even in the rain, even hours from home. She was her children’s biggest fan and fiercest defender. 

Kitsie was the 2nd of 4 daughters of Robert and Mary Hildebrandt. She is survived by her 3 sisters, who she loved dearly and spent lots of time with in her retirement. Her sisters’ children and grandchildren were also beloved to her. 

Kitsie was a member of Durham Friends Meeting of Quakers for many years and was very active in the meeting. 

Kitsie worked for several small businesses before returning to graduate school at age 50. After graduating she started her career as a guidance counselor at Lewiston Middle School. She said, “It was a blast, except when it was heartbreaking.” She amazed her family with her dedication to her students and her genuine love for them. 

Kitsie was endlessly curious about people, especially those that had a different background or point of view from her own. She built a loving, diverse community of friends with her warmth and humor.  

Kitsie has 2 granddaughters, Greta and Edith, who she simply adored. She took care of them daily during the pandemic and formed a very close bond with both of them. She welcomed her daughter-in-law, Lori Lommler, and son-in-law, Matt Guité into her family with open arms and loved and appreciated them both immensely. 

Kitsie loved picking fresh mussels from the shoreline, burning brush, doing yoga, sailing with her husband, having potlucks with her dear ones, and creating connection and love wherever she could. 

Kitsie was diagnosed with incurable brain cancer in June of 2022 and it killed her on July 5, 2023 at age 70. Through those 13 months she showed incredible strength and resilience in the face of a devastating disease. 

Kitsie will be missed beyond words. 

At Kitsie’s request, in lieu of flowers, please contribute to Planned Parenthood of Lewiston Maine, 179 Lisbon Street.

Helen Clarkson, 1925-2022

In loving memory of wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, Helen Cornelia Clarkson (Pratt). At the age of 96, on Saturday, July 16, 2022, she passed away peacefully in her beloved home on Flying Point overlooking Casco Bay.

Helen Clakson

She was born on August 21, 1925 in Somerville, MA, the oldest child of Albert Pratt and Marion Cornelia Pratt (Dwelley). The family moved to Brunswick, ME were she graduated from Brunswick High School in 1942. She then attended Bates College in Lewiston, ME were she graduated in 1946 with a Bachelor of Science degree in sociology. Helen then continued her studies at Washington State University in 1946 where she met her husband, Vernon Albert Clarkson, on the first day of her arrival. She graduated in 1947 with a Master’s degree in sociology. Vernon and Helen were married on August 2, 1947 at the Friends Meeting House (Quaker) in Durham, ME.

They proceeded to have two sons, Bruce and Robert, and a daughter, Joyce. After teaching for one year at Freeport High School, the couple moved to Corvallis, OR. At first Helen worked as a social worker for the State of Oregon, and then when the family moved to Raleigh, N.C., she became a professor of sociology at both North Carolina State University and Meredith College, a position she held for many years. In 1975, the family moved to Rhinebeck, NY in the scenic Hudson River valley where she became the Dean of Admissions of Dutchess County Community College, a position she especially enjoyed because she was able to assist many adult female students overcome difficult personal hurdles and complete their education.

Upon retirement, Vernon and Helen returned to Maine and built a home on a cherished piece of property her parents had purchased in 1946 on Flying Point in Freeport, ME, the home she occupied thereafter in happiness and contentment. Upon retirement, Helen continued to generously donate her time and energy to many worthwhile causes, including being a valued member for seventy-five years of the Daughters of the American Revolution, and equally important to her, the Durham Friends Meeting, the Friends Women Society, the Freeport Women’s Club, and making countless quilts for ABC Quilts and Project Linus to bring a ray of kindness to disadvantage and suffering children.

Helen was predeceased by her husband Vernon, sister Katherine, and grandson Lee Vernon Clarkson. She is survived by her three children, four grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. Helen had a full and wonderful life, spanning wonderous events in history, and to the very end of this chapter on Earth, was an avid reader, maintained an unforgettable sense of humor, and an unwavering love for her family and friends, past and present.

She will be sorely missed, but never forgotten. Condolences and fond memories may be shared at www.stetsonsfuneralhome.com A celebration of a life well lived will occur at noon at the Durham Friends Meeting Hall on August 2, 2022. In lieu of flowers, Helen gratefully requests a donation to Bates College for the Vernon A. and Hellen Pratt Clarkson 1946 Scholarship, mailed to Bates College, Office of College Advancement, 2 Andrews Road, Lewiston ME 04240. Arrangements are under the direction of Stetson’s Funeral Home & Cremation Care 12 Federal St., Brunswick, 725-4341.

“A Green Burial – Tom Frye,” by Peter Crysdale

Part of a message given at Durham Friends Meeting, December 12, 2021

A Green Burial  – Tom Frye, by Peter Crysdale

Someone asked me,

How did you find your way to Durham Meeting?

I answered, “Ralph brought me!”

He brought Tom Frye too… 40 years ago – 

Both of us came and went and returned.

The other day Tommie Frye came back again,

In a simple pine box –

Laid in a hole at the Lunt –

Dug by his friends – next to Sukie, his friend 

For all those years. He decided to do 

What love does and give 

His body back to Mother Earth

In the simplest of ways. 

Back then – Tom came to the Parsonage with Ralph 

To find his way, after a long hardship. 

I came up on weekends –

Sitting at that table in the parsonage kitchen 

Tom told of his life – his profound suffering –

He was neither bitter nor vengeful – 

It was one foot after the other – hanging around

The Parsonage was an act of recovery, 

An act of Love.

One year Tom was Santa at the Meeting

Christmas party – Ruth Graham thought

He was too tall To be Santa. 

The next year she was Santa – 

Made up and clothed so no

One could tell it was her –

I knew – so did Tom. 

And that Halloween when Ralph got

Tom to lie down in an old sunken grave –

In the Cemetery behind the Parsonage.

Covered him with leaves – the kids 

Came by with their flashlights in the dark –

Tom rose – they were terrified.

God’s mischief is Love in motion.

Remember the Spring kite-flying 

Extravaganza in the Parsonage yard – 

Tom and Ralph again – 

Later every tree was festooned with a kite. 

There was Petunia the Parsonage Pig –  

Ralph brought her home – 

Because the elders complained that there 

Weren’t enough kids in the Meeting – 

Ralph said he could train pigs – 

Petunia would have none of it –

She lived in the Parsonage and got bigger

And bigger – first Day came and Ralph read 

A chapter from Charlotte’s Web in Meeting,

A row of attentive kids looked on in wonder. 

Worship is about being found by the love.  

One First Day after a huge snowfall – 

Three feet of snow – slid off

the roof of the Meetinghouse – 

Landed with a HARUMPH!!!  

The Worship Settled that day –

Someone told me 

On another First Day, Tom, 

Who rarely spoke in Meeting – 

Sang Amazing Grace – 

The Worship Settled.

We were slowly seasoned 

by a Quaker cast of Characters – 

Helen – Ruth and Lucy – Merton and Bea, 

Charlotte and Mary – John Curtis – Clarabel and

Louis – Lyda Wentworth – oh so many others –

Seasoned means absorbing the Love.

I went off to Pendle Hill and Tom moved to Freeport –

Got a job – found a love – 

Recovering takes a lifetime. Last week 

Tom moved back- was buried in the Lunt –

We stood around tossing rose petals as we covered 

His body with earth. Love welcomes us home.

Remembering Karen Marston

Long-time attender of this Meeting Karen Marston passed away on October 29, 2021.

An obituary is here and another here.

With Bowdoin Baking Company, Karen had a booth at the Brunswick Topsham Land Trust’s Farmer’s Market. BTLT’s Executive Director, Angela Twitchell, has written a lovely reminiscence of Karen Marston on the BTLT website.

Karen, on the left, at the Farmer’s Market

Passing of Tommie Frye

August 29, 2021, revised August 30, 2021

Our member Tommie Frye passed away this morning after a long period of ill health. A green burial will be carried out at Lunt Cemetery on Monday, August 30, at 5pm. All welcome to attend.

At worship this morning, thanks were expressed for Jeri Kemple and for the members of this meeting who cared for Tommie as his health declined. This meeting was his home.

Susan Bellows (Sukie) Rice, 1945-2020

Memorial Minute for Susan (Sukie) Bellows Rice, 1945-2020

            Susan (Sukie) Rice was born in New Rochelle, NY on November 1, 1945 to Charles D. and Winifred Rice. She grew up in an old farmhouse in the countryside, about an hour by train from Manhattan. There, her love of music, theater, cats, dogs, and the world of nature took root in the warmth of a loving home. In the 1960’s, after earning a BA in Psychology at Hiram College, she went to work for an advertising agency in New York City. Simultaneously, she immersed herself in the Morningside Heights Friends Meeting.

The Society of Friends became a lifelong source of strength and inspiration for Sukie. As the Quaker values of simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality and stewardship grew in importance for her, her work in commercial advertising held less and less allure. In 1969 she left New York City and moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts, where she worked at two Boston area hospitals during the 1970s. Here, she threw herself into a host of nonviolent civil disobedience actions against the Vietnam War, some of which led to her arrest, and one to a couple of weeks in jail. As the Vietnam War was ending, she joined the staff of the American Friends Service Committee (AFSC). There, she allied AFSC with the anti-nuclear Clamshell Alliance, and helped train protesters and organize successive nonviolent occupations of the construction site of the Seabrook Nuclear Power Plant.

In 1971 Sukie met and fell in love with Lee Chisolm. Later, they would acknowledge to each other that it was indeed love at first sight. Through Lee she was introduced to Anthroposophy, the spiritual philosophy and teachings of Rudolph Steiner. From that seed, planted early in her consciousness and cultivated through study motivated by her deep love and admiration for Lee, together they formed a shared spiritual path. Steiner’s teachings came to be the cord that strengthened and infused their lives as a couple and produced meaning and purpose in their work together in the world. Anthroposophy, along with Quaker faith and practice, became the foundation from which Sukie grew in spirit and presence. And in Lee’s own words, “she drew ideas from the ozone. She was a natural conduit for spiritual inspiration.” 

In the late 1970s Sukie and Lee moved to Maine, where Sukie joined the Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends in 1979. In the 1980s Sukie and Lee moved to Freeport, where they started a family. When their first child, Adam, was not quite three, Sukie and Lee resolved to start a Waldorf School. For the next several years, Sukie worked indefatigably. She held informational and fundraising events, pulling together a nucleus of founding parents, a teacher, and eventually a class. What began as a little kindergarten of a dozen students continues today as a mature K-12 school known as the Maine Coast Waldorf School.

As her children grew older, Sukie enrolled in the University of Southern Maine in the 1990s for a degree in music education, and for the next twenty years she was a full time K-5 music teacher in the Portland Public Schools. She also acted with the Freeport Community Players, later becoming their musical director. In this role, she worked on a handful of plays and annual performances of Amahl and the Night Visitors for seven years. Stepping away from the Freeport Community Players, Sukie next founded the Greater Freeport Community Chorus, which she directed for six years.

Sukie was an active member of Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends for four decades. She served the meeting in a variety of roles over the years, sometimes wearing multiple hats. For many years she was the music director for the meeting’s annual Christmas and Easter choirs. She also served on Ministry and Counsel, Peace and Social Concerns Committee, Finance Committee, and as both Recording Clerk and Presiding Clerk. 

In 2001 Sukie was inspired by a small group of Quaker women from Kenya who were providing a feeding program to AIDS orphans in their community of Kakamega. Sukie volunteered her time extensively to support this program, ultimately founding Friends of Kakamega, a New England based program that partners with its Kenyan counterparts to support their grassroots mission. Through her work with Friends of Kakamega, Sukie spent the last two decades of her life helping to support the well-being and education of vulnerable children in western Kenya, giving hope to hundreds of young Africans. True to her character, she grew to know, love, and individually connect with both the children served by the project, and the Americans who embraced the opportunity that Sukie gave them to help. Her son John has continued that work at the Kakamega Care Center.

Trailblazer that she was, later in life Sukie also devoted time to exploring the topic of death and dying and the spiritual journey of the soul during this final passage. This in turn led her to the next frontier of green burial for herself as well as others. With the assistance of family, close friends and members of the Durham Friends Meeting, she realized her desire to be buried in this manner and so opened the way for others to follow in the newly dedicated lot for green burials in the Lunt Cemetery.

Sukie’s great energy, compassion, and integrity guided her life in remarkable ways. As one Friend described her so well, “Sukie has been the spark and flame of a better life for so many.” While her work and life were always filled with purpose and encouragement, particularly memorable was her joy. Sukie asked us to remember her joy. We do, Sukie. We surely do.

Sukie passed from this life on July 17, 2020.  She is survived by her husband, Lee Chisholm, and sons Adam, Ian, and John Chisholm.

Mildred Alexander, 1930-2020

Mildred Alexander, long time member of Durham Friends Meeting, passed from this life on September 18, 2020.    She was a resident of Pinkham Brook Rd. Durham and was born in Lisbon Falls, daughter of the late Louis and Annette (Boultbee) Dumas. She was educated in local schools.  Mildred married Andrew Alexander in January of 1949, and they spent many happy years together until he passed in 2009.  Mildred enjoyed jigsaw puzzles, her cats and most of all time spent with her great grandchildren.  Mildred was an active member of the Meeting Trustees.  While a trustee she was the Meeting janitor and went the extra mile to keep the building in good shape.  One friends fond memory of Mildred was that she was good-natured with a great sense of humor.  ‘Once when there was a jug of Babcock’s apple cider in the meeting frig Mildred drank a cup.  I love cider, she said.   The friend said, especially when it is about to turn.  Mildred replied.  ‘Me too!  Look at us! Drinking hard cider in the Meetinghouse!’  Mildred was one of many from the Meeting who worked at the Maine Idyll for many years. 

She is survived by her sister Laurette Chapman of Lewiston, four grandchildren: Thomas St.Germain of Durham, Carrie St.Germain of Lewiston, Angela Loucka of Tampa, FL and Johnell Ramos of Costa Rica, four great grandchildren and seven great-great grandchildren. She was predeceased by a daughter Pauline (Alexander) Harvey in 2006 and three sisters, Annette Tibbets, Beverly Craig and Bernice Curtis.

Passing of Mildred Alexander

Our longtime member Mildred Alexander passed from this life on September 18, 2020. Below is an obituary and notice of her services.

Mildred P. Alexander 89, a longtime resident of Pinkham Brook Rd. Durham died Friday September 18, at Mid Coast Senior Health, with her family at her side. She was born in Lisbon Falls a daughter of the late Louis and Annette (Boultbee) Dumas. She was educated in local schools.
Mildred married Andrew Alexander in January of 1949, and they spent many happy years together until he passed in 2009.
Mildred enjoyed her jigsaw puzzles her cats and most of all enjoyed time spent with her great grandchildren.
She is survived by her sister Laurette Chapman of Lewiston, four grandchildren: Thomas St.Germain of Durham, Carrie St.Germain of Lewiston, Angela Loucka of Tampa, FL and Johnell Ramos of Costa Rica, four great grandchildren and seven great-great grandchildren. She was predeceased a daughter Pauline (Alexander) Harvey in 2006 and three sisters, Annette Tibbets, Beverly Craig and Bernice Curtis.
The family would like to send a very big thank you to the entire staff at Mid Coast Senior Health for the exceptional care given to Mildred, especially in her last days.

You are invited to offer condolences and pay tribute to Mildred’s life by visiting her guest book at www.crosmanfuneralhome.com

Visitation Crosman Funeral Home Thursday 9/24 from 10-11:30 am, with a graveside service to follow at Pleasant View Cemetery at 12 Noon. Those wishing to make memorial donations in her memory may do so to Midcoast Humane Society 30 Range Rd, Brunswick, ME 04011.

Phyllis May Curtis White Wetherell, Memorial Minute, June 21, 2020

Phyllis Wetherell was born in 1936 in Portland, Maine, the first child of John and Mary Curtis.  She grew up in Durham Friends Meeting and remained a member here all her life – one of our many beloved members of the family Curtis.  With many friends in both communities, she oscillated between Durham, Maine and Richmond, Indiana all her life. 

Phyllis May Curtis White Wetherell Obituary

After her first husband, Ira Donald White, and her daughter, Lisa, passed away, she married David Wetherell, the pastor of Durham Friends.  They moved to Richmond, Indiana so that David could attend the Earlham School of Religion.  After David graduated, they moved to Bar Harbor where Phyllis and David helped start Acadia Friends Meeting.  About a decade later they moved back to Richmond, Indiana.

Phyllis became receptionist/secretary at the Earlham School of Religion, a position she held for fifteen years, from 1985 to 2000.  Hers was the first face that prospective students, faculty, and staff encountered.  She welcomed them and treated them graciously and with a kindness that came from her heart.  Phyllis always believed she had “the best seat in the house” at the front desk at ESR.  She wrote,

“What an education to listen to people wrestling out loud about their beliefs or lack of beliefs, to see the profound impact a feisty professor has on someone who finally sees and feels the Light, to watch as a programmed Quaker meets head on an unprogrammed Quaker, when neither one knows anything of the other’s practices. Do you know how exciting it is to listen to folk trying to sort out their beliefs and try and figure out where those beliefs will lead them?”

David passed away in 1990.  When Phyllis retired from ESR she came again to live among us in Maine, and then returned to Friends Fellowship in Richmond, Indiana in 2013 for the last seven years of her life.  We were always glad to see her when she came back to Durham Friends.

A bright presence in all places and seasons, Phyllis will be deeply missed by all who knew her.  She is survived by her children Susan (Dale), Linda (Rick), and David John (Jennifer); her sister Charlotte, brother Johnny (Mildred), and stepdaughter Lynne. Her grandchildren that will carry on all she taught them: Hickory (Trisha), Ryder (Amanda), Rossy, Marjorie, Korey, Brandon (Jenna), Ashton (Wyatt), Nate and Genesee. So, too, her great-grandchildren:  Jack, Mason, Max, Samuel, Lumen, and (due in July), Sawyer. Those already passed on include her parents John and Mary Curtis, brother David, daughter Lisa, and the two loves of her life, husbands Donny and David.

Phyllis passed from this life, in Richmond, on April 25, 2020. 

Edie Whitehead, Memorial Minute, June 21, 2020

Edith Marie Whitehead, 1923-2020

Edith Mary Whitehead May 22,1923 – April 18, 2020
Edie Whitehead died from natural causes, Saturday, April 18, 2020, at Horizons Living and Rehab Center, just a month before her 97th birthday.

Edie Mary Lamb was born on May 22, 1923, in Dublin, Ireland, the youngest of three children. After training as a physical therapist, she came to the United States to care for a cousin. She met Macy Whitehead in Phippsburg through a mutual friend, Albert Bailey, and they were married on April 22, 1952 in the “manner of Friends” at the Quaker meeting in Westtown, in West Chester, Pa. They shared a commitment to each other, family and community for 60 wonderful years; raising four children and numerous dogs, cats and horses. Throughout their lives, they stayed rooted to the simple things.

Her husband’s various positions, as an ordained minister, took them to South Portland (1955-60), Eagle Butte, South Dakota, (1960-73) and Kent, Connecticut, (1973-78). From Connecticut, they moved to New York while Macy earned a pastoral counseling degree, and Edie supported her family by working in a hospital. In 1982 they moved to Bath, Maine.

Edie was an avid quilter and member of Kaleidoscope Quilt Guild in West Bath for many years. She and Macy started attending Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends after they moved to Maine and after several years among us, became a member in 2000. She was active in USFW and in the Durham Friends Women’s Society. We at Durham knew her as an active member and knowledgeable about Quaker History and the Bible. She had an infectious smile, a wry sense of humor, sometimes irreverent, loved to engage in conversation and was not afraid to challenge people.

Edie took hostessing very seriously, and put on a spread of food that was delicious, and also beautifully presented, with every detail attended to carefully. Her dishes, the doilies, the little knife for spreading, and of course flowers, were all perfectly arranged. She delighted in doing it and wanted people to remember her for it. She loved to quilt and shared this love of hers with the women at Durham Meeting.

She and Macy shared a family camp in Brightwater, which is a summer colony in Phippsburg, and they would hold worship time with family and friends in their summer community, which included many hymn sings. Edie is survived by her family- Deirdre, Harris, Heather (Philipand Tom; Camilla and Carla; five grandchildren Celia, Kai, Sam, Bevan and Lionel; and a large extended Irish family.

Edie was a gracious, welcoming and loving person. She was fun to be around – always full of good ideas and projects needing doing. She had a beautiful singing voice and was a creative, talented fabric artist. Her working years involved helping people in need or in creating something beautiful. Her twinkling eyes and capable hands will be sorely missed.

Memorial in Solitude — Remembering Phyllis Wetherell

Memorial in Solitude — From Derek Parker, Pastor, First Friends Meeting, Richmond, Indiana — April 26, 2020

            Saturday night Nancy Tyndall phoned me, to let me know that Phyllis Wetherell had died.  Phyllis died in hospice care at Reid Hospital, from non-Covid causes.
            As of the morning of Sunday, April 26 about 54,000 people in the United States have died from the coronavirus.  Other people like Phyllis also die of non-Covid causes.  If you are reading this you may only be one or two degrees removed from somebody who has died from coronavirus, or from other causes.  With social distancing, funerals will likely be limited to small groups of 5-10 people, outdoors, and graveside.  It can hurt to be apart when we need our family and friends; and when we need an opportunity to say goodbye.
            Many of us say, “I will pray for you.”  And I have no doubt that we do that.  But most Protestants get little instruction about how to do this.  It is easier to follow through on our prayers, when we have a plan.
            So today I got out the prayer-books in my office to make a plan for how to pray for Phyllis, and for others whose memorials I may not be able to attend.  I recommend finding a quiet place to make your plan, and then carry it out.

O Thou kind Lord!  Thou hast created all humanity from the same stock.  Thou hast decreed that all shall belong to the same household.  In Thy Holy Presence they are all Thy servants, and all humankind are sheltered beneath Thy Tabernacle; all have gathered together at Thy Table of Bounty; and all are illuminated through the light of Thy Providence. – Amen           

After that first prayer I’m going to take a silent moment to think about Phyllis.  I’ve known her for a long time.  She was finishing her employment at ESR when I was a prospective student over 20 years ago.  As a student at ESR we had a picnic table dedicated in celebration of her years of service.

            She was a member of West Richmond Friends Meeting, but I reconnected with Phyllis through the Thursday First Friends Book Group that met at Friends Fellowship.  Her thinking about the books was sharp, and her humor was bright.  I can still picture her sitting in her chair at Book Group.  Her sudden departure from this world is a bit of a shock.

            At some point I will need to end my silence.  And close with another prayer.

O Lord, support us all the days of this life, until the shadows lengthen, the evening comes, the busy world is hushed, the fever of life is over, and our work is done.  Then in Your mercy grant us a safe lodging, a holy rest, and peace at the last.  AMEN

I plan to pray this way.  I would even appreciate somebody else praying for me this way, after my life comes to an end.  I suggest that you make a plan for how to pray in memory of others who have died.  You don’t need to use the same prayers I used.  You could substitute the Lord’s Prayer, or Psalm 23, or Psalm 24, or a more spontaneous prayer.  In the face of terrible news in a time of solitude, respond with faith and prayer.

            May God give us strength in times of sorrow, whenever those times come.  And wherever we are, may we be inspired to pray with those who mourn.

Janet Douglas, Memorial Minute

Janet Douglas, a long-time member of Durham Friends Meeting and mother of member and former pastor Jim Douglas, passed away on September 10, 2018. A memorial service was held in the Meetinghouse to celebrate her life on November 10 with her family and members of the Meeting present. Janet was well loved and appreciated for what she taught those who knew her through her life work.

Memorial Minute: Richard Reeve Wood, Jr.

January 18, 2015

Memorial Minute: Richard Reeve Wood, Jr.

March 30, 1932 – June 5, 2010

Screen Shot 2018-06-11 at 10.22.24 AMRichard Reeve Wood Jr. was born March 30, 1932, to Richard R. and Nancy Morris Wood in Moorestown, New Jersey. He grew up surrounded and seasoned by Philadelphia Friends. He attended Moorestown Friends School and received a B.A. in English from Haverford College while it was still an all male school. He loved playing soccer at Haverford or anywhere else he could round up a game!

Richard’s fascination with farms, farm animals and aesthetics of the land grew ever more important when he began working summers on a Quaker farm along the Delaware River. As a Conscientious Objector he served two years at the Earlham College dairy farm.

Following his stint at Earlham, Richard married Elizabeth Hoag. They bought the Goddard farm, a small farm in Brunswick, Maine, which had been bequeathed to Durham Monthly Meeting. There they had four children: Rebecca, Gilbert, Anna and Susan. They also built a Jersey herd of some note. After their divorce Richard continued to farm and provide hospitality to folks from various walks of life who were passing by. His was a compelling and welcoming presence and he connected easily with all sorts of people.

Richard loved cows and spent much of his time as he worked in the barn thinking and dreaming of the emerging contemporary small farm movement. He was ahead of his time, like Wendell Berry whose writings inspired him. Later he was given an opportunity, when hired by the Maine Department of Agriculture as coordinator for the Agriculture Viability Program, to travel and write on behalf of the small farm movement in Maine. Richard was a gifted writer and published articles in Small Farm Journal, Maine Times, Times Record. There was a memorable piece in the Boston Globe reporting on Richard’s visit to war torn Nicaragua as part of an Oxfam delegation.

Richard was a beloved and active member of Durham Friends Meeting, serving in various capacities including Monthly Meeting Clerk, Trustee, on Ministry and Counsel, and occasionally giving the message. He was Clerk of Falmouth Quarterly Meeting for a time.

One First Day at Durham Friends Meeting, Richard and Susan McIntire rose in the midst of silent worship and he declared, “Before God, my family and friends, I, Richard, take thee Susan to be my wife. With divine assistance and help from my friends, I will be unto thee a loving and faithful husband.” Susan responded in kind. The clerk read the marriage certificate aloud and invited each of us there to sign as witnesses. Those present witnessed a traditional Quaker wedding, and Richard and Susan went on to have a real Quaker marriage.

Richard and Susan eventually sold the Brunswick farm, moved to Western New York in 1990, and bought another farm. This one had Holsteins and draft horses. Here they continued raising their children Reeve and Isaac. They were assisted in this new venture by local farm folks including those in the nearby Amish community.

In 2000 Richard was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, which he managed with characteristic grace and optimism. Richard and Susan returned to Maine in 2003 to be closer to family and friends.

Those of us who are privileged to have known him and listened to his deep penetrating voice, marveled at the almost effortless way he established close rapport with others. His Quaker roots and seasoning were embedded in his presence. He was profoundly steady and comfortable. Children loved him. He loved dogs. He wrote mystery stories. He loved his family. For many of us he was a compassionate listener. There are myriad tender memories of cups of tea with him at the kitchen table.

Richard Wood

No Hallmark Angels,

they asphyxiate me.

Send me one like

Richard Wood in

floppy rubber boots.

His large hands

cracked and gnarled

from washing cow’s

udders on winter days.

This cold Maine morning

The barn smells of burnt

rushes. A holstein heifer

is down dead in her stall.

He backed the old John

Deere into the barn and

dragged the carcass past

the restless herd, breath

rising like incense smoke.

He kicked a heap of snow.

“At least she’ll freeze out here

in the dooryard till I can think

of some place to put her”.

Inside we had a dirty mug of

tea and were as close as

those cows in the barn.

pbc (1995)

Approved by Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends, Meeting for Business, January 18, 2015, Sarah Sprogell, Presiding Clerk.

An obituary can be seen here.  An appreciation of his life by his daughter in law, Hannah Burroughs, can be seen here.

Remembering Eileen Babcock and Lavada Caton & Angelo Pane

By Sukie Rice

We need to mark the passing of three members of Durham Monthly Meeting.

It is with real sadness that we announce the passing of Eileen Babcock, who had been a member of Durham Friends Meeting for the greater part of her life.  Eileen grew up in the meeting as a part of Sunday School, vacation Bible School and then, as an adult, leading Meeting youth in these same activities.   She participated in most of the committees of the Meeting and was consistently committed to doing the best job she could for the Meeting and seeking God’s will.  She will be especially remembered as a team leader for the Tedford Shelter meals, her contributions to the Meeting’s benefit dinners for the Kakamega Orphans Care Centre, and for always being there to lend a hand in whatever was needed.   Eileen died of cancer at the age of 66 on March 20.

We also want to recognize the passing of Lavada Caton and Angelo Pane, both beloved members of the Meeting.   Angelo, who for years fixed the leaky faucets, doors and windows, pounded hammers and tended lovingly to the meetinghouse, died in September in Florida with his family close by.  Lavada passed away on April 9 in North Port, Florida where she lived with her husband, Don.  Lavada was known for her kindness, generosity, strength of spirit, and real spunk.  Durham Meeting wishes the God’s comfort and love for the Pane and Caton families.  We have no doubt that Angelo is up there with his measuring tape and plans to build a new wing on the angel’s canteen where Lavada has everyone entranced by her sweetness and stories.

Don Caton, Lavada’s husband, can be reached approximately through July at: c/o Laurie Caton-Lemos, 770 Pinkham Brook Rd, Durham, ME 04222

Durham Memorial Minute for Glenice Hutchins

Glenice Mae Caton Hutchins was born August 4, 1931, in Durham Maine, and passed to the next world on June 23, 2012. Her spirit lives on in her family and friends, her influence continues in the spirits she is touching in the new world.
Mere words cannot explain the life, love, influence and inspiration of my mother, Glenice Hutchins. Although she no longer walks this earth in human form, her spirit continues to walk with me daily, reminding me of her mission, her teachings and her own inner peace. From her lifelong belief in a strong education to her deep-rooted spirituality, she was and will always be my strength, my reason and my focus. She is the reason I continue to educate myself in all things, my reason for believing in God and my belief in a better life through inner peace. It was not until she passed away that I was finally able to see the woman she was, what she meant to others and how she changed the world, one blessing at a time, quietly and without fanfare. I was blessed to be her daughter, and I will live the rest of my life trying to fulfill her life’s mission.
She grew up in Durham, Maine, where she was active in Durham Friends Meeting Sunday School and Youth Group, and Falmouth Junior Quarterly Meeting. She began her spiritual journey on a farm one mile from the Durham Friends meeting. Always a Quaker she embodied compassion, courage and grace, truly loving others non-judgmentally and peacefully. She lived a life of frugality, simplicity and integrity. She was an inspiration to those who knew her and she lived her faith, knowing she was a disciple of God’s kingdom. She lived the present moment and enjoyed every phase of her life.
Glenice graduated from Lisbon High School and Fisher College. She earned her Bachelor’s degree from the University of Southern Maine in 1970, and her Master’s in 1978.
Glenice lived and worked for others. She taught elementary school in Falmouth for twenty-three years. Her students loved her, as she loved them. After retirement she worked as a part-time receptionist at Cedars Nursing Care Center in Portland from 1993 to 2012. She had a strong commitment to education and never stopped learning, attending the lifelong learning (OLLLIE) classes at the University of Southern Maine after her retirement. She encouraged others in their education as well, buying all the books for her grandchildren’s’ further education. She was also a member of the College Club of Portland, which awards scholarships to local young women.
She was a member of United Teaching Profession, Falmouth Education Association, Maine Teachers Association, National Education Association, and Falmouth Historical Society. She volunteered for the American Cancer Society as a Reach-to-Recover volunteer after her first breast cancer surgery, and for the Committee for Living with Cancer Conference held yearly in Augusta. She also volunteered for the Salvation Army, correcting Bible study lessons for prisoners.
While living in Falmouth she was active in Portland Friends Meeting, serving as Clerk (1965-66 & 1978-79) and on Ministry and Counsel and the Finance Committee. Falmouth Quarterly Meeting was very important to her; she was Clerk of Ministry and Counsel (1973-1976). She served the United Society of Friends Women of the New England Yearly Meeting of Friends as Stewardship Secretary. And she was active in New England Yearly Meeting, serving on the Equalization Fund Committee from 1982-1988 and the Student Loan Committee (1994-1997). In the last years of Glenice’s life, she returned to Durham Friends Meeting where she served as clerk of Ministry and Counsel and on the Library Committee.
Glenice will be deeply missed by all who knew her. She is survived by her daughters, Beth Anne King and Donna J. Ross and her son Bradley Carl Hutchins. She was predeceased by her husband of 45 years,Wendell W. Hutchins; she is also survived by her partner of 12 years Albert Anderson, seven grandchildren and six great grandchildren.
Her memorial service was held June 26, 2012, at Durham Friends Meetinghouse.

Minute for Barbara J. Jordan 1942-2011

Barbara (Bobbie) Jordan, a member of Durham Friends Meeting, Durham, Maine, died January 16, 2011,
after a two-year journey with ovarian cancer. Prior to transferring her membership to Durham Meeting
in 1996, she was a member of Mt.Toby Meeting in Leverett, Massachusetts, since about 1987. Bobbie was
born in Bakersfield, California, on September 28, 1942, but grew up in Denver, Colorado, the eldest
daughter of Lorne and Helen Jordan. Family life in the Jordan household consisted of regular camping
trips to fish the mountain streams of the Colorado and its neighboring states. Bobbie visited and
knew all of the best fly-fishing locations, thanks to her father’s avid interest in this sport. Her young life was
filled with outdoor activity, from helping her grandfather on his farm to taking the ski train into the Rockies for
lessons and eventual work on the Ski Patrol. She worked on a dude ranch in her early years, cooking for the
cowboys, and loved entertaining her family with many stories of the cowboys’ pranks. Sports were an early
interest for Bobbie, and she was drawn to a career in Health and Physical Education, graduating from Colorado
State University at Fort Collins in 1964. Her first year of teaching was in rural Wyoming and included teaching
classes at the Wind River Indian Reservation.
Throughout her life, Bobbie seemed to know her path forward, making decisions and taking on tasks and
responsibilities that served to steadily expand her experiences, skills and interest in education. Early in her
teaching career she accepted a summer job as the waterfront director at a Camp Tappawingo, a girl’s camp in
Harrison, Maine. While in Maine, she applied to a Master’s Program at University of Maine at Orono, where
she both studied and taught, and from which she graduated in 1967. Upon graduation she continued teaching at
the college level, working at the State University of New York in Albany teaching and coaching, then moved to
Wellesley College from 1969-1977. At Wellesley she coached the college crew team, staying one lesson ahead
of the team by reading the manual as the season progressed. She had never taught the sport previously, but
Bobbie was always game for a challenge, and failure was never an option. Needless to say, the crew team was a
During her years at Wellesley College, Bobbie continued to work summers directing activities at a girl’s
camp in Hanover Mass., where she made many life-long friends. With no tenure track at Wellesley, Bobbie
found employment directing an alternative high school in Plymouth, Mass., for two years. The work was
challenging, with many troubled students, but once again Bobbie met the challenge head on. Once again,
failure was not an option, and she created many real-life situations to assist the students with developing skills
they could relate to. It was with some relief, however, that she returned to more traditional education at
Brookline High School, serving as Curriculum Coordinator and Teacher of Health and Physical Education from
1977 to 1982.
Bobbie’s love of education kept her advancing in her career, enrolling in advanced studies at University of
Massachusetts in Amherst in 1982, and serving as principal for the Leverett Elementary School from 1985 to
1990. Her continuing commitment to the education of children led her to a job in Maine, as principal of
Williams-Cone School in Topsham where she worked from 1990 to 2001, and later to Augusta where she
worked until her retirement in 2008 as the Director of Curriculum and Instruction for the Augusta Public
Schools. During this time, Bobbie also enrolled and graduated in 2001 from Nova Southeastern University,
Fort Lauderdale, Fla., with a Doctorate in Education.
Bobbie was a leader and an educator in all facets of her life. She served in leadership positions in many
professional organizations, and worked to support peer review among teachers and mentorship programs for
teachers and principals. Bobbie traveled to Eastern Europe, Sweden and Japan to learn and observe teaching
methods of other cultures. Rather than truly retire, Bobbie took on the task of developing an after-school
program for at-risk children in the Augusta area, through the Boys and Girls Club. She traveled to Kenya to
visit and help with a summer camp for AIDS orphans run by the Quaker group Friends of Kakamega. Indeed,
even through the last months of her life Bobbie eagerly took on the supervision of six student teachers, fulfilling
one of her long-time career goals.
Along with a growing career, Bobbie also deeply valued her friends and family. Over the years of job
changes and professional growth, Bobbie developed a wide family of friends, and regularly stayed in touch with
them. Trusted colleagues often became life-long friends. In 1982 Bobbie met her life-partner, Sarah Sprogell,
and together they raised Sarah’s two sons. Their life together was filled with trips to Colorado, camping and
canoeing, a string of family pets, and the joy of seeing both boys grow into fine young men with beautiful
families of their own.
Durham Friends Meeting was Bobbie’s spiritual home, and a place where her leadership and strong work
ethic also found tasks to accomplish. She served on Ministry and Council for six years, and also on Finance
Committee, serving as clerk for both committees. She also served as Meeting Treasurer at a time of transition
for the Meeting. Bobbie was often sought out to serve on Pastoral Support Committees, Pastoral Search
Committees, and Pastoral Evaluation Committees. She served on the Christian Education Committee and
taught Sunday School classes, where she shared with Durham youth her gifts for relating to and understanding
young people; Bobbie served Durham Meeting’s young friends well. While Bobbie’s natural inclination to be
of use to the Meeting kept her actively involved and admired for her leadership, she felt at her core that the
Meeting was most importantly a place of refuge from the busy outside world, and a place of worship that
resonated deeply within her.
Beyond pursuing her career in education and finding her spiritual home with Quakers, Bobbie also sang in a
local women’s chorus, Women in Harmony, for more than 10 years. True to her participation in any group,
Bobbie was involved in the board of directors, serving as chairperson, as well as on the production of
committee, search committee, and as administrative assistant to the director. As with all her endeavors, she
made important and lasting friendships through her involvement with this singing group.
The last two years of Bobbie’s life were years of spiritual deepening and strengthening, as she developed
her own style of living with cancer. As with so many of her personal and professional challenges over the
years, giving up was never an option. There were still things to do, trips to take and people to see. There was
still life to live and work to be done. She continued to face life and its challenges head on, maintaining her
grace and courage until her last days. Many of the nurses and aides at the Gosnell House, where Bobbie spent
the last week of her life, marveled at her spiritual equanimity and lack of agitation as she drew closer to death.
The strength of Bobbie’s spirit was evident at her memorial service, when over 200 people gathered to profess
their love and admiration for a woman who touched them deeply and from whom they had learned much. Her
generosity of spirit was clearly evident in the many testimonials heard on that day.
Our dear Bobbie is survived by Sarah Sprogell, her loving partner of 29 years, their son, Agostino Petrillo,
and his wife, Allegra, and daughters Ariel and Thalia of Northampton Mass., as well as his two daughters
Chelsea and Emily Craine of Blacksburg Va., their son, Dominic Petrillo, and his son, Lincoln, of Freeport,
Maine, her sister Pamela (Jordan) Costa, of Littleton Colo., her niece Angela (Costa) Hawes and her husband
Jason of Littleton, Colo., and her nephew Frank Costa and his wife Sarah of Pensacola Fla. Bobbie is
predeceased by her father Lorne Jordan. Her mother, Helen Irene (Hall) Jordan, passed away six months
following Bobbie’s death, on July 17, 2011, at the age of 100.

Macy Whitehead 1924-2012

BATH — H. Macy Whitehead, died Wednesday, May 16, 2012, at his home in Bath, just two days after his 88th birthday.Born May 14, 1924, in Mt, Vernon, N.Y., to the Rev. Robert Charles Whitehead and Miriam Macy Whitehead. Named for his grandfather, Rev. Herbert Macy, he was known to everyone as “Macy.” Though he grew up in New York his ties to Maine developed quickly when his parents became part of the Brightwater summer community in Phippsburg in 1926.

Over the next decades he and most of his siblings, aunts, uncles, father and mother all moved to Maine. In later teenage years he worked as a summer volunteer at the Three Fevers work camp run by Albert Baily in Phippsburg, helping low-income families in the nearby Sebasco village with improved housing and economic development. Many of these families were the descendants of the 1912 Malalga Island Expulsion. After graduating from high school in Mt. Vernon, Macy went to Haverford College in Philadelphia, where he reconnected with the values of his Quaker ancestors who settled on Nantucket in the 1670s. Intending to become a clergyman like his father and two grandfathers he received a clergy deferment during World War II.

Graduating in 1946, he volunteered to join up with the American Friends Service Committee’s post-war relief effort in Italy. In an interview with The Times Record in 2007 he said, “If there was an opportunity to work in a different way, to heal the wounds of war and to show a different attitude toward people, that was important for me to do that. I didn’t want to just have a free ride through this. If I didn’t participate in the destruction, I wanted to be part of the reconstruction.” In the spring of 1946 he began working with other AFSC volunteers on community-building projects in villages located in the Abruzzi Mountains on Italy’s Adriatic Coast. In 1947, he arrived in Montenerodomo, a mountain village almost entirely devastated during the war. He set up a small work camp and rallied villagers to build a day nursery for the children, enabling their parents to tend their crops in the lower hillsides. The AFSC and its counterpart in England were named co-recipients of the 1947 Nobel Peace Prize. For Macy, that was “no big deal” — he considered it a far greater honor that in 2005 the citizens of Montenerodomo named him an “honorary citizen” in gratitude for helping their village in its time of need.

Completing his divinity studies at Yale Seminary School, he graduated with a Master’s of Divinity degree in 1950. Macy was ordained by the Maine conference of the United Church of Christ and began his ministry back in Phippsburg, where he served three parishes in Popham, Small Point and Parker Head. He also worked as a “character-building teacher” in Phippsburg and other local schools, teaching music and arts and crafts.

It was in Phippsburg that he met his future wife, Edie Lamb, an Irish Quaker, who had come to care for her cousin, a friend of the Baily family, which ran the Three Fevers program where he had worked as a teen. He had heard that this “charming Irish gal” could sing, so he invited her to perform at a service. After a short, but earnest courtship (Edie had to return to Philadelphia), they were married April 22, 1952, in the “manner of Friends” at the Quaker meeting in Westtown, in West Chester, Pa. They remained deeply committed to each  other over the 60 years of their marriage, sharing interests in music, theater, animals, the outdoors, and most especially the lives of their children and grandchildren. They became an inseparable team, sharing in the challenges of raising four children in often very challenging environments, and working together in the work of the Church.

Though Macy was often the more public figure, in the pulpit and elsewhere, Edie was both the rock and the glue that held everything together. After they finished their work in Phippsburg, Macy accepted a post at the First Congregational Church in South Portland from 1955 to 1960. In 1961, the family made a big decision when Macy’s ministry took him to Eagle Butte, S.D., the tribal headquarters of the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe on the Cheyenne River Indian Reservation — at the time, one of the most impoverished communities in the United States. In addition to serving his parish, he was chairman of the South Dakota Commission for Indian Mission and served on the board of directors of the South Dakota conference of the United Church of Christ.

From 1966 to 1973 the Whitehead family served the Beresford and Centerville communities in eastern South Dakota. In 1973, the family decided to move back to the East Coast, to be closer to Maine and so ended up at what would be Macy’s final parish in Kent, Conn. During his entire pastoral career, Macy was always deeply involved with youth groups and youth-related activities. He ran Sunday schools, organized church-run summer camps and trail rides in the Black Hills, including 10-day backpacking trips for older students in the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming. He once led a group of college students and his family to a very poor section of southern Missouri, where they helped to build and repair housing.

Macy was a life-long learner and he constantly challenged himself and his convictions about how to best serve humanity. In 1978, he felt his effectiveness in the Church environment was waning, so he returned to school and earned a degree in pastoral counseling at Blanton-Peale Institute and Counseling Center in New York City. During this time, Macy and all four children were in college and Edie supported Macy through her work at a hospital. After finishing this training in 1982, he and Edie then returned to Bath, where he developed a family-counseling practice during the 1980s and into the 1990s. He also continued work on a thesis he had developed while at Blanton-Peale, and this work eventually earned him his Doctor of Divinity degree. Macy’s counseling work evolved over time to include: individual and family counseling; helping people suffering from chronic pain; and those with terminal illnesses. He also worked as a hospital chaplain at the former Bath Memorial Hospital, and continued to officiate at weddings, funerals and other celebrations when asked.

In his later years both he and Edie reaffirmed their Quaker roots and joined the Quaker Meeting in Durham, where he served as the clerk (chairman) of the Meeting for a number of years, and continued to play the organ and give messages to the Meeting right up until he died. He had a great love of animals, once raising a wild mustang from a foal. For a brief time, he raised chinchillas for their fur … then the market crashed.

More recently, upon returning to Maine, he raised Angora rabbits for their wool, which he would spin into yarn, dye and knit hats and other items for sale at craft fairs. An accomplished musician, he played the piano, organ, zither, recorder and auto-harp. He also sang in the Downeasters Barbershop Chorus, the Oratorio Chorale and most recently the Macy Family Band. He is survived by his wife, Edie Whitehead; their four children and spouses, Deirdre Whitehead, Harris Whitehead and Carla Seekins, Heather Whitehead-Sampinos and Phil Sampinos, and Tom Whitehead and Camilla Dunham Whitehead; and five grandchildren, Celia and Kai Whitehead, Sammy Sampinos, and Bevan and Lionel Whitehead. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Macy Whitehead’s honor to The American Friends Service Committee, AFSC Development, 1501 Cherry St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19102. Please make check payable to “AFSC.”