November 18, 2013
By Angie Reed
Twelve women met at Margaret Wentworth’s apartment for our monthly meeting. Jo-an Jacobus offered the devotions and program from this year’s Blueprints. It was titled “Listening for the Voice of God” and was written by Mary Glen Hadley about a time when God gave her courage. We were asked to share times when we needed to look to God for courage in our lives.
In business, we approved last month’s minutes and the treasurer’s report. The Tedford Meal for November was ham steaks, baked beans, pasta salad, green beans, corn bread and a desert. We have two new members for Tedford teams who have lost members, but we could use more help! If any Durham Friends attendees or members would like to join a team, please speak with Kitsie Hildebrandt or another Woman’s Society member.
Prayers were asked for the Barber family in Belize, who have had many trials and tribulations in their family and the students they serve. A few women at the meeting also asked the group to pray for others they knew who are in need of prayers. The card ministry was done. Our member who leads the card ministry is moving to another state and Woman’s Society is looking for another member to take on this role and coordinate the card ministry. It was confirmed that Woman’s Society will sponsor Christmas Bags for up to 10 individuals or families. We will also request donations of mittens, hats, scarfs and gloves to be hung on the mitten tree so these items may be donated to local organizations that serve populations in need. We all agreed we will have a homemade Christmas gift exchange at our next meeting. Fudge is encouraged.
The Meeting ended with a closing poem by Kitsie Hildebrandt. We adjourned to refreshments of caramel apple pudding, grapes, mixed nuts, crackers and tea provided by Margaret.
The next Meeting will be our annual Christmas Party, which will be held on December 16 at Angie Reed’s home at 7 p.m. All are welcome to attend.
Author Archives: Doug
Falmouth Quarterly Meeting held October 26 at Windham
By Clarabel Marstaller
Falmouth Quarterly Meeting met Saturday, October 26, at Windham Friends Meetinghouse. Three representatives from Durham Monthly Meeting attended, plus others of our Meeting.
Brian Drayton of Weare, N.H., Meeting led the program on “Recording Gifts of Ministry.” Brian traced the history of recording; most individuals have been recorded in recognition of their spoken ministry, acknowledging that the person is endorsed by his/her monthly meeting and then by the quarterly meeting. Several recorded ministers of Falmouth Quarterly meeting were present and spoke of their experiences as recorded ministers. Three of these were from Durham Meeting.
In the business meeting, first approval was given to laying down Oxford Hills Monthly Meeting, which has only two or three members, no property, and few assets (already distributed). The Quarterly meeting adopted a budget of $675 for the year. Income is from constituent monthly meetings and from offerings at the business meetings.
The meetinghouse in Casco, Maine, which is under the care of Windham Meeting, will be a feature of the celebration of the town of Casco, “Casco Days,” in 2014. Friends of the Quarter will be involved in the July 4 parade and gather for a picnic afterward.
AFTER MEETING REFRESHMENTS SCHEDULE
December 2013 to February 2014
Thank you for being willing to prepare refreshments!
Please switch if needed.
Directions are posted in the kitchen. Supplies need to be donated- check what is already available in the kitchen. “Basic” refreshments are coffee, milk and/or half & half, tea, juice, and crackers. People appreciate having cheese, sweets, veggies, or fruit, but it can be as simple as you like. The Woman’s Society makes this schedule with people who come to Meeting regularly and have been willing to prepare refreshments in the past. We have not checked with each person regarding dates. If you would like to be added to or taken off this list, see Nancy Marstaller. Thanks!
December
1 Kathy & Harmony Brown
8 Jeannie Baker Stinson & family
15 Linda Muller & Jim McCarthy
22 Eileen Babcock, Mildred Alexander
29 Nancy Marstaller, Jo-an Jacobus
January
5 Margaret Wentworth, David Dexter
12 Dorothy & Ed Hinshaw
19 Brenda Masse, Wayne Hollingworth
26 Kitsie Hildebrandt, Sarah Sprogell
February
2 Sukie Rice, Don Goodrich
9 Dotty DeLoach, Susan Wood
16 Angie & David Reed
22 Dorothy Curtis, Daphne Clement
New Address
Friends, as of Dec. 14, I will have a new address:
Phyllis Wetherell Apt. 206, Friends Fellowship Community 2030 Chester Blvd., Richmond, IN 47374
It is difficult to think of leaving this terrific Meeting and all you nifty folk but sometimes one doesn’t have another choice. I am having more and more difficulty walking and even standing so need to be someplace where I can have help. Friends Fellowship is a retirement place of 300 folk, some of whom I already know from the 20 years I lived in Richmond. Part of my heart will always be with Durham Meeting but I know how fortunate I am to be able to start this new venture. With much love and much good cheer to all, Phyllis
Christmas Gift Bags
By Angie Reed
Please bring in notepads, pens, pencils, calendars, hygiene items, various small gift items and candies to help the Woman’s Society fill its Christmas Gift Bags. This will help continue the tradition of providing a package stuffed with goodies to people in our meeting community who are unable to share in the holiday festivities at the Meetinghouse. If you have someone in mind that may benefit from a bag, please let a Woman’s Society member know and we will try to honor the request. Donations for the bags will be accepted from now until Sunday, December 15. Thank you for your help!
Christmas Offering To Go to Ramallah
By Clarabel Marstaller
The offering taken at our Christmas program, December 22, will go to Friends School in Ramallah, Palestine. The Girls School was started first, the result of a girl in Ramallah asking Eli Jones (visiting from South China, Maine, in 1869) if he would open a school for girls in Ramallah (a small school for boys existed in Ramallah at that time). Schools were started in homes and in 1882 a building was completed — which was the start of the Friends Girls School. Meanwhile, a boys’ school was held in a home in Ramallah. In 1914 a building was in place. However, it was used as a hospital during World War I, first by the Central Powers and, as England prevailed, by English troops. In 1918 it began serving its original purpose. Today the girls’ school is the Lower School and the boys’ school the Upper School, both coed. New England Friends were very much involved in the early years of the schools. Joyce Ajlouny, director of Ramallah Friends School, visited our Meeting a few years ago. The schools are very up-to-date in their academic and technological life, thanks to their value in the Mideast. Our offering will help them meet the challenges they face.
Swap Before You Shop on Dec. 1
By Brenda Masse
Special Events will be hosting the Durham Friends annual Re-Gifting Swap on Sunday, December 1, during refreshment time after Meeting for Worship. Please bring GENTLY used items to swap and get a jump-start on your holiday shopping! It is a great way to save the earth and your wallet! See Brenda Masse for further details.
Mitten Tree
By Angie Reed
Please bring in any homemade or purchased mittens, hats and scarves and pin them to the Christmas Tree Banner in the vestry of the Meetinghouse. After the Woman’s Society’s December meeting the gathered items will be donated to local groups whose clients are in need. Donations will be accepted from now until December 15. Let’s warm those fingers and ears!
Christmas Potluck and Program
Reminders
Contemplative Prayer Group will be meeting on the second Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m. at 24 Cedar St., Brunswick. There will be a Christmas Eve worship service at 7 p.m. on Dec. 24.
Harvest Dinner for LACO
Volume 2013 Issue 11 November 2013
From our Pastor:
The medieval theologian and mystic Meister Eckhart said that the most real kind of prayer is the prayer of gratitude.
For the past three years I have stood on the Facing Bench, most Sundays, and offered to Durham Meeting a message (a number of them have been published here in our Durham Friends Newsletter). Most of my life, before coming to Durham, was spent in preparation — in getting ready to be a part of Durham Friends Meeting. There were years of life experience, nearly a decade as a Hospice Chaplain, and nine years of post-graduate theological study. Once I arrived — quite quickly — almost immediately, I could say: I am at home, at home in the parsonage, at home spiritually in Durham Meeting, at home in Maine.
Now that it is time for me to retire, I’d like to say a little about what it’s been like to prepare and to rise in Meeting for Worship to offer a message. I’d like to say something about where these messages have come from.
The clearest thing that I can say about vocal ministry — the Sunday messages — is that each of them has been a surprise … a gift. I’d sit down to prepare, thinking: “I’ll say this or that …” only to be surprised, again and again, by a completely unforeseen direction taken. Once mid-message I even found myself suddenly wondering what the astronauts felt when they gained God’s perspective, seeing the whole Earth — as one. How amazing!
Many of you have heard me say that after eight or so months I had really said all that I had to say. There was a time of learning to be willing to have no idea what the next message would be; a time of learning to wait and to listen. And, of course, to pray. So I am full of gratitude … and coming to understand that it is from the deep well of our Worship together that I have been drawing the spiritual sustenance to rise and offer a message. Our covered Worship together is where the messages come from.
And so, during the transition in our Meeting, I invite us all to enter a time of being willing to wait, to listen and to pray together as we are led toward a future that will no doubt be full of surprises … and, of course, gratitude.
Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends
October 20, 2013
Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends convened in worship on Sunday, Oct. 20, 2013, at 12:20 p.m. with 14 people present. Clerk Susan Wood read “Living Fellowship Needs Fresh Forms” by Anna Thomas and E.B. Emmet from the Meeting as a Caring Community section of the New England Yearly Meeting of Friends Faith and Practice (page 121).
1.) Wendy Schlotterbeck gave the Youth Pastor Report. Durham Young Friends gatherings have begun for the new school year. They meet on the third Friday night of each month, and started it off with a campfire and harvest party. Almost all the young people in the group will be going to the NEYM Youth Retreat in November in Portland.
2.) Susan Rice brought the Finance Report for September. It was noted that there was a transfer of $6000 from the Bernice Douglas Fund to the General Fund, as approved by Monthly Meeting to keep us from overdrawing the account. There was also a transfer of $1,750 from the Student Loan Fund into the General Fund, as approved by Monthly Meeting. Income for September was $4,319 and expenses were $4,838. The end of the month balance for September was $3,009.
a.) Finance Committee will bring a draft budget for 2014 to the November Monthly Meeting. It was requested that all committees let members of Finance Committee know their needs for 2014.
b.) We plan to review our expenditures for all paid ministry to discern what we believe we can afford in 2014.
3.) It was confirmed that the Meeting will pay all our budgeted obligations for 2013.
4.) It was approved that we spend up to $190 to print and distribute the annual appeal. This is in addition to the current budget.
5.) Nancy Marstaller reported for Ministry and Counsel.
a.) A welcoming letter has been written to send to visitors with a lovely drawing of the Meetinghouse created by Ketura (Ketty) Stinson.
b.) The Maine Council of Churches is encouraging all churches to hold prayer meetings for civility in public discourse on Nov. 1 at 7 p.m., a few days before the election. It was approved that we hold one here at the Meetinghouse at that time.
6.) Margaret Wentworth reported for Trustees.
a.) Trustees recommend that Jeff Goodman and his wife Christie be invited to come to live at the parsonage during an interim period. They would pay for electricity, heat and propane, including the current pellet bill. They would be asked to make a contribution to the meeting of a minimum of $100 a month.
b.) The septic system needs to be pumped. This will be a capital expense.
c.) The water has been tested for drinking at both the parsonage and the Meetinghouse (through the filters). Although the water is safe to drink in both places, there are many tiny black flecks in the water at the parsonage. It was recommended that Trustees ask Eric Oransky to evaluate this problem.
7.) It was approved that Jeff and Christie Goodman be invited to live in the parsonage as recommended.
8.) It was approved that the septic system be pumped.
9.) It was approved that the Treasurer be authorized to pay the water test bill from the Capital Account.
10.) It was reported that the Sept. 26 Pig Roast Harvest Dinner netted $740 for the LACO Food Pantry.
11.) A Search Committee for a new pastor of up to six people needs to be created. Possible names were suggested and those people will be asked by our clerks.
12.) Quarterly Meeting will be held Saturday, Oct. 26, at Windham Meeting. Representatives will be Margaret Wentworth, Daphne Clement and Clarabel Marstaller.
13.) It was approved that there be an opportunity for contributions to be made in November for the Kickapoo Friends Indian Center in McCloud, Oklahoma.
14. The minutes of Monthly Meeting were approved during the meeting.
The meeting adjourned in the Spirit at 2:10 p.m.
— Susan Rice, Recording Clerk
Christmas Potluck and Program
By Dorothy Hinshaw The Christian Education Committee would like to announce that the Christmas Potluck and program will be held on Dec. 22, Sunday evening, at 5:30 p.m. The snow date will be the next day, Monday. Supper starts at 5:30 p.m. and the program at 7 p.m.
Prayer on Civil Discourse – Nov. 1
On Nov. 1, the Maine Council of Churches will be holding a day of prayer on civil discourse for the election. MCC invites congregations across Maine to participate in a public prayer service to promote civil discourse and prayerful discernment in public life the weekend before Election Day. For more information, please contact: info@mainecouncilofchurches.org or call 207 772-1918.
Contemplative Prayer Group
Contemplative Prayer Group will be meeting on the second Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m. at 24 Cedar St., Brunswick.
AFTER MEETING REFRESHMENTS SCHEDULE
November 2013 to February 2014
Thank you for being willing to prepare refreshments!
Please switch if needed.
Directions are posted in the kitchen. Supplies need to be donated- check what is already available in the kitchen. “Basic” refreshments are coffee, milk and/or half & half, tea, juice, and crackers. People appreciate having cheese, sweets, veggies, or fruit, but it can be as simple as you like. The Woman’s Society makes this schedule with people who come to Meeting regularly and have been willing to prepare refreshments in the past. We have not checked with each person regarding dates. If you would like to be added to or taken off this list, see Nancy Marstaller. Thanks!
November
3 Sarah Sprogell, Eileen Babcock
10 Sue Wood, David Marstaller
17 Betsy Stivers & family
24 Charlotte Anne Curtis, Clarabel Marstaller
December
1 Kathy & Harmony Brown
8 Jeannie Baker Stinson & family
15 Linda Muller & Jim McCarthy
22 Eileen Babcock, Mildred Alexander
29 Nancy Marstaller, Jo-an Jacobus
January
5 Margaret Wentworth, David Dexter
12 Dorothy & Ed Hinshaw
19 Brenda Masse, Wayne Hollingworth
26 Kitsie Hildebrandt, Sarah Sprogell
February
2 Sukie Rice, Don Goodrich
9 Dotty DeLoach, Susan Wood
16 Angie & David Reed 22 Dorothy Curtis, Daphne Clement
22 Dorothy Curtis, Daphne Clement
Kenyan Crafts Marketplace
A Christmas Crafts Fair Selling Kenyan Made Goods to benefit the Kakamega Orphans Project
Saturday November 9th 10:00 to 2:00 St. Jude’s Church 134 Main Street, Freeport
Handbags, scarves, woven bowls, carved wood animals, Christmas tree ornaments, nativity scenes, soapstones and more…. Great Gifts! St. Jude’s is located on the corner of Main and School Street, Freeport across from the post office. Parking in the rear. For information, please call 318-8531 or email: sukierice@comcast.net
Youth Story
From Our Pastor:
Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends
Youth Minister’s Report
By Wendy Schlotterbeck The Passages class has continued exploring other faith communities. On Sunday, Feb. 3, six youths, three parents and I attended the First Unitarian Universalist Church in Auburn. The service centered on the origins of Unitarian Universalists and was geared towards kids. It was a perfect introduction to this church. So far we have visited Winthrop Friends, Portland Friends and the UU church. Our next visits will include Temple Shalom and the Boston Islamic Center. Junior Young Friends (elementary grades) have had three meetings and the kids are asking to continue. As one young friend said: “I wish we would meet every week! This is fun.” We are in the process of making a documentary about Durham Friends Meeting. During our last meeting we videoed many Durham Friends and will finish interviews at our next meeting on Sunday, March 3, from noon to 1 p.m. If you didn’t get the chance to be interviewed in February, please come March 3 and let us know you are interested! We hope to have the “film” ready for Children’s Day, June 9. Durham Junior Young Friends meets the first Sunday of each month at noon. Durham Young Friends (middle and high school grades) continues to meet the third Friday of each month at 7 p.m. We are gearing up for the Big Concert at 7 p.m. on March 22 preceded by a light supper at 5:30 p.m. It will be a tribute concert for Bee Douglas by renowned folk singer Joe Crookston. You won’t want to miss this uplifting event! Save the date! The Annual Family Campout at Betsy Muench’s seaside “compound” will be June 21-23. All are welcome! There is plenty of room for tents and a few beds are available in the house for the less hearty. The view is spectacular and the private sandy beach is a favorite of all ages! Some activities in the works: 1.) Three young friends have had their portraits painted by Martha Miller and we hope to have all completed by summer. Stay tuned for the opening of the Durham Young Friends Portrait Show! 2.) We plan to put a Durham Meeting cookbook together in the near future. We would love to have your recipes and stories about them for this special cookbook. Thanks for supporting the Young Friends!
Durham Memorial Minute for Glenice Hutchins
Clerking Workshop
Teen Camp: Relationships, Spirituality and Sexuality
Minute for Barbara J. Jordan 1942-2011
Barbara (Bobbie) Jordan, a member of Durham Friends Meeting, Durham, Maine, died January 16, 2011,
after a two-year journey with ovarian cancer. Prior to transferring her membership to Durham Meeting
in 1996, she was a member of Mt.Toby Meeting in Leverett, Massachusetts, since about 1987. Bobbie was
born in Bakersfield, California, on September 28, 1942, but grew up in Denver, Colorado, the eldest
daughter of Lorne and Helen Jordan. Family life in the Jordan household consisted of regular camping
trips to fish the mountain streams of the Colorado and its neighboring states. Bobbie visited and
knew all of the best fly-fishing locations, thanks to her father’s avid interest in this sport. Her young life was
filled with outdoor activity, from helping her grandfather on his farm to taking the ski train into the Rockies for
lessons and eventual work on the Ski Patrol. She worked on a dude ranch in her early years, cooking for the
cowboys, and loved entertaining her family with many stories of the cowboys’ pranks. Sports were an early
interest for Bobbie, and she was drawn to a career in Health and Physical Education, graduating from Colorado
State University at Fort Collins in 1964. Her first year of teaching was in rural Wyoming and included teaching
classes at the Wind River Indian Reservation.
Throughout her life, Bobbie seemed to know her path forward, making decisions and taking on tasks and
responsibilities that served to steadily expand her experiences, skills and interest in education. Early in her
teaching career she accepted a summer job as the waterfront director at a Camp Tappawingo, a girl’s camp in
Harrison, Maine. While in Maine, she applied to a Master’s Program at University of Maine at Orono, where
she both studied and taught, and from which she graduated in 1967. Upon graduation she continued teaching at
the college level, working at the State University of New York in Albany teaching and coaching, then moved to
Wellesley College from 1969-1977. At Wellesley she coached the college crew team, staying one lesson ahead
of the team by reading the manual as the season progressed. She had never taught the sport previously, but
Bobbie was always game for a challenge, and failure was never an option. Needless to say, the crew team was a
success.
During her years at Wellesley College, Bobbie continued to work summers directing activities at a girl’s
camp in Hanover Mass., where she made many life-long friends. With no tenure track at Wellesley, Bobbie
found employment directing an alternative high school in Plymouth, Mass., for two years. The work was
challenging, with many troubled students, but once again Bobbie met the challenge head on. Once again,
failure was not an option, and she created many real-life situations to assist the students with developing skills
they could relate to. It was with some relief, however, that she returned to more traditional education at
Brookline High School, serving as Curriculum Coordinator and Teacher of Health and Physical Education from
1977 to 1982.
Bobbie’s love of education kept her advancing in her career, enrolling in advanced studies at University of
Massachusetts in Amherst in 1982, and serving as principal for the Leverett Elementary School from 1985 to
1990. Her continuing commitment to the education of children led her to a job in Maine, as principal of
Williams-Cone School in Topsham where she worked from 1990 to 2001, and later to Augusta where she
worked until her retirement in 2008 as the Director of Curriculum and Instruction for the Augusta Public
Schools. During this time, Bobbie also enrolled and graduated in 2001 from Nova Southeastern University,
Fort Lauderdale, Fla., with a Doctorate in Education.
Bobbie was a leader and an educator in all facets of her life. She served in leadership positions in many
professional organizations, and worked to support peer review among teachers and mentorship programs for
teachers and principals. Bobbie traveled to Eastern Europe, Sweden and Japan to learn and observe teaching
methods of other cultures. Rather than truly retire, Bobbie took on the task of developing an after-school
program for at-risk children in the Augusta area, through the Boys and Girls Club. She traveled to Kenya to
visit and help with a summer camp for AIDS orphans run by the Quaker group Friends of Kakamega. Indeed,
even through the last months of her life Bobbie eagerly took on the supervision of six student teachers, fulfilling
one of her long-time career goals.
Along with a growing career, Bobbie also deeply valued her friends and family. Over the years of job
changes and professional growth, Bobbie developed a wide family of friends, and regularly stayed in touch with
them. Trusted colleagues often became life-long friends. In 1982 Bobbie met her life-partner, Sarah Sprogell,
and together they raised Sarah’s two sons. Their life together was filled with trips to Colorado, camping and
canoeing, a string of family pets, and the joy of seeing both boys grow into fine young men with beautiful
families of their own.
Durham Friends Meeting was Bobbie’s spiritual home, and a place where her leadership and strong work
ethic also found tasks to accomplish. She served on Ministry and Council for six years, and also on Finance
Committee, serving as clerk for both committees. She also served as Meeting Treasurer at a time of transition
for the Meeting. Bobbie was often sought out to serve on Pastoral Support Committees, Pastoral Search
Committees, and Pastoral Evaluation Committees. She served on the Christian Education Committee and
taught Sunday School classes, where she shared with Durham youth her gifts for relating to and understanding
young people; Bobbie served Durham Meeting’s young friends well. While Bobbie’s natural inclination to be
of use to the Meeting kept her actively involved and admired for her leadership, she felt at her core that the
Meeting was most importantly a place of refuge from the busy outside world, and a place of worship that
resonated deeply within her.
Beyond pursuing her career in education and finding her spiritual home with Quakers, Bobbie also sang in a
local women’s chorus, Women in Harmony, for more than 10 years. True to her participation in any group,
Bobbie was involved in the board of directors, serving as chairperson, as well as on the production of
committee, search committee, and as administrative assistant to the director. As with all her endeavors, she
made important and lasting friendships through her involvement with this singing group.
The last two years of Bobbie’s life were years of spiritual deepening and strengthening, as she developed
her own style of living with cancer. As with so many of her personal and professional challenges over the
years, giving up was never an option. There were still things to do, trips to take and people to see. There was
still life to live and work to be done. She continued to face life and its challenges head on, maintaining her
grace and courage until her last days. Many of the nurses and aides at the Gosnell House, where Bobbie spent
the last week of her life, marveled at her spiritual equanimity and lack of agitation as she drew closer to death.
The strength of Bobbie’s spirit was evident at her memorial service, when over 200 people gathered to profess
their love and admiration for a woman who touched them deeply and from whom they had learned much. Her
generosity of spirit was clearly evident in the many testimonials heard on that day.
Our dear Bobbie is survived by Sarah Sprogell, her loving partner of 29 years, their son, Agostino Petrillo,
and his wife, Allegra, and daughters Ariel and Thalia of Northampton Mass., as well as his two daughters
Chelsea and Emily Craine of Blacksburg Va., their son, Dominic Petrillo, and his son, Lincoln, of Freeport,
Maine, her sister Pamela (Jordan) Costa, of Littleton Colo., her niece Angela (Costa) Hawes and her husband
Jason of Littleton, Colo., and her nephew Frank Costa and his wife Sarah of Pensacola Fla. Bobbie is
predeceased by her father Lorne Jordan. Her mother, Helen Irene (Hall) Jordan, passed away six months
following Bobbie’s death, on July 17, 2011, at the age of 100.
From the Editor:
A few recent events have nudged this issue into new territory and have made the publication
date a little fluid. Twice in the past two weeks we have lost dear friends and family members.
Macy Whitehead, our dear friend, passed away on Wednesday, May 16. On Sunday, May
20, his beloved wife, Edie, and their family attended meeting for worship, where they were
welcomed in by the Meeting.
At the Monthly Meeting that followed on that day, the Memorial Minute for Bobbie Jordan
was read.
On Saturday, May 26, Stuart Muench, cherished husband of our dear friend Betsy Muench,
passed away.
On Sunday, May 27, the Ad Hoc Fundraising Committee made a presentation at Meeting
that was intended for all to hear.
At the Monthly Meeting of May 20 it was decided that both Macy’s obituary and Bobbie’s
Memorial Minute should be published in our newsletter. The Ad Hoc Fundraising Committee
asked that their presentation be published as well. As you will see, these documents are each
quite long. The usual length of the newsletter has been close to doubled by their inclusion. All
of the additional costs above the usual five sheets of paper are being paid by two anonymous
donors who feel that these documents need to be made available to our members.
Our condolences go out to the families and loved ones of both Macy and Stuart. Our prayers
are with you.
Macy Whitehead 1924-2012
BATH — H. Macy Whitehead, died Wednesday, May 16, 2012, at his home in Bath, just two days after his 88th birthday.Born May 14, 1924, in Mt, Vernon, N.Y., to the Rev. Robert Charles Whitehead and Miriam Macy Whitehead. Named for his grandfather, Rev. Herbert Macy, he was known to everyone as “Macy.” Though he grew up in New York his ties to Maine developed quickly when his parents became part of the Brightwater summer community in Phippsburg in 1926.
Over the next decades he and most of his siblings, aunts, uncles, father and mother all moved to Maine. In later teenage years he worked as a summer volunteer at the Three Fevers work camp run by Albert Baily in Phippsburg, helping low-income families in the nearby Sebasco village with improved housing and economic development. Many of these families were the descendants of the 1912 Malalga Island Expulsion. After graduating from high school in Mt. Vernon, Macy went to Haverford College in Philadelphia, where he reconnected with the values of his Quaker ancestors who settled on Nantucket in the 1670s. Intending to become a clergyman like his father and two grandfathers he received a clergy deferment during World War II.
Graduating in 1946, he volunteered to join up with the American Friends Service Committee’s post-war relief effort in Italy. In an interview with The Times Record in 2007 he said, “If there was an opportunity to work in a different way, to heal the wounds of war and to show a different attitude toward people, that was important for me to do that. I didn’t want to just have a free ride through this. If I didn’t participate in the destruction, I wanted to be part of the reconstruction.” In the spring of 1946 he began working with other AFSC volunteers on community-building projects in villages located in the Abruzzi Mountains on Italy’s Adriatic Coast. In 1947, he arrived in Montenerodomo, a mountain village almost entirely devastated during the war. He set up a small work camp and rallied villagers to build a day nursery for the children, enabling their parents to tend their crops in the lower hillsides. The AFSC and its counterpart in England were named co-recipients of the 1947 Nobel Peace Prize. For Macy, that was “no big deal” — he considered it a far greater honor that in 2005 the citizens of Montenerodomo named him an “honorary citizen” in gratitude for helping their village in its time of need.
Completing his divinity studies at Yale Seminary School, he graduated with a Master’s of Divinity degree in 1950. Macy was ordained by the Maine conference of the United Church of Christ and began his ministry back in Phippsburg, where he served three parishes in Popham, Small Point and Parker Head. He also worked as a “character-building teacher” in Phippsburg and other local schools, teaching music and arts and crafts.
It was in Phippsburg that he met his future wife, Edie Lamb, an Irish Quaker, who had come to care for her cousin, a friend of the Baily family, which ran the Three Fevers program where he had worked as a teen. He had heard that this “charming Irish gal” could sing, so he invited her to perform at a service. After a short, but earnest courtship (Edie had to return to Philadelphia), they were married April 22, 1952, in the “manner of Friends” at the Quaker meeting in Westtown, in West Chester, Pa. They remained deeply committed to each other over the 60 years of their marriage, sharing interests in music, theater, animals, the outdoors, and most especially the lives of their children and grandchildren. They became an inseparable team, sharing in the challenges of raising four children in often very challenging environments, and working together in the work of the Church.
Though Macy was often the more public figure, in the pulpit and elsewhere, Edie was both the rock and the glue that held everything together. After they finished their work in Phippsburg, Macy accepted a post at the First Congregational Church in South Portland from 1955 to 1960. In 1961, the family made a big decision when Macy’s ministry took him to Eagle Butte, S.D., the tribal headquarters of the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe on the Cheyenne River Indian Reservation — at the time, one of the most impoverished communities in the United States. In addition to serving his parish, he was chairman of the South Dakota Commission for Indian Mission and served on the board of directors of the South Dakota conference of the United Church of Christ.
From 1966 to 1973 the Whitehead family served the Beresford and Centerville communities in eastern South Dakota. In 1973, the family decided to move back to the East Coast, to be closer to Maine and so ended up at what would be Macy’s final parish in Kent, Conn. During his entire pastoral career, Macy was always deeply involved with youth groups and youth-related activities. He ran Sunday schools, organized church-run summer camps and trail rides in the Black Hills, including 10-day backpacking trips for older students in the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming. He once led a group of college students and his family to a very poor section of southern Missouri, where they helped to build and repair housing.
Macy was a life-long learner and he constantly challenged himself and his convictions about how to best serve humanity. In 1978, he felt his effectiveness in the Church environment was waning, so he returned to school and earned a degree in pastoral counseling at Blanton-Peale Institute and Counseling Center in New York City. During this time, Macy and all four children were in college and Edie supported Macy through her work at a hospital. After finishing this training in 1982, he and Edie then returned to Bath, where he developed a family-counseling practice during the 1980s and into the 1990s. He also continued work on a thesis he had developed while at Blanton-Peale, and this work eventually earned him his Doctor of Divinity degree. Macy’s counseling work evolved over time to include: individual and family counseling; helping people suffering from chronic pain; and those with terminal illnesses. He also worked as a hospital chaplain at the former Bath Memorial Hospital, and continued to officiate at weddings, funerals and other celebrations when asked.
In his later years both he and Edie reaffirmed their Quaker roots and joined the Quaker Meeting in Durham, where he served as the clerk (chairman) of the Meeting for a number of years, and continued to play the organ and give messages to the Meeting right up until he died. He had a great love of animals, once raising a wild mustang from a foal. For a brief time, he raised chinchillas for their fur … then the market crashed.
More recently, upon returning to Maine, he raised Angora rabbits for their wool, which he would spin into yarn, dye and knit hats and other items for sale at craft fairs. An accomplished musician, he played the piano, organ, zither, recorder and auto-harp. He also sang in the Downeasters Barbershop Chorus, the Oratorio Chorale and most recently the Macy Family Band. He is survived by his wife, Edie Whitehead; their four children and spouses, Deirdre Whitehead, Harris Whitehead and Carla Seekins, Heather Whitehead-Sampinos and Phil Sampinos, and Tom Whitehead and Camilla Dunham Whitehead; and five grandchildren, Celia and Kai Whitehead, Sammy Sampinos, and Bevan and Lionel Whitehead. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Macy Whitehead’s honor to The American Friends Service Committee, AFSC Development, 1501 Cherry St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19102. Please make check payable to “AFSC.”
From the Ad Hoc Fundraising Committee
May 27, 2012
Good morning Friends,
These are sad times, having recently lost two dear Friends. It is often at sad times that we are reminded of
the importance of our physical presence, and how we each support and care for the Meeting. At times like this,
it is clear that we are here only through the Grace of God, that it is through God’s Grace that we each provide
the care and support so necessary to sustain our Meeting. So perhaps it is not too big a stretch to consider also
the importance of our financial support of the Meeting. Since it is also through God’s Grace that we have this
building in which to gather.
And so it is that we introduce ourselves to you today as members who are working on the Financial Health
and Care of Durham Friends Meeting. We are members of the ad hoc Fundraising Committee which was
appointed by Monthly Meeting in February. We come to you today to introduce ourselves and to speak about
the need for this committee. Our task is to explore ways to strengthen our weekly giving which supports our
operating budget, and to rebuild our capital funds.
You might ask: Why?
For the past several years we have been falling short in our operating budget, and we have been relying on
savings to fill the gap each year. Using this method, we are steadily depleting our savings. Also, with the
accomplishment of several major building improvements, we have depleted our capital funds.
We want to develop wise practices so that we can move forward toward a bright future for our Meeting.
But where and how to do we begin?
Appreciation: As a committee, we began with deep appreciation for what we have been given. We are
fortunate in many ways at Durham. We know that we have a generous membership, with people giving in
many ways to support our Meeting. We realize that each contributes as they are able. We know that all gifts
are accepted with gratitude. We recognize that all gifts, be they monetary, volunteer or in-kind contributions
come from a sense of spiritual and loving generosity.
Through this loving care we accomplish many things. We pay our bills each month. We have made many
improvements both at the Meetinghouse and at the Parsonage: (Fellowship Room, Library, Children’s Room,
Parsonage boiler). All of this demonstrates our loving care for each other and for the Meeting. The physical
improvements and maintenance of our buildings help ensure us all that Durham Friends will continue to be here
for us, as our Spiritual Home. We know that our ability to continue to function is due primarily to the
commitment to giving that comes from each person active in the meeting. It is this faithfulness that forms the
core of Durham Friends as a vibrant and loving community.
For these things we are deeply grateful. We are all blessed to share in this good fortune.
Current Status: However, our financial strength at Durham Meeting needs careful attention.
A. Operations: Our Operational Budget is like our heartbeat. It keeps us going each day, just like our hearts do
for us. Sometimes it is easy to forget that our hearts are working for us all day, every day. Similarly, we find
ourselves now in a situation where we our weekly giving does not match our operational expenses. We are not
keeping up with our heartbeat. The Heart-blood of our Meeting needs some help. Although we live modestly
at the Meetinghouse and the Parsonage, we find that we will fall short this year by about $15,000.
We currently take in about $42,000 a year in the weekly offering. With about 45 people attending each
Sunday, that averages about $18 per person per week. Some give more; some give less. But, in order to reach
our goal of $57,000 the average individual giving would need to increase to about $25 per week.
We are asking each of you to consider your current giving level, and determine whether you have room to
increase your offering. We realize that this is not an easy task, nor a very tempting one, and we know that there
are some who may not be able to make any changes. But for those of you who do have room for change we
have some ideas…
Page 7 of 14
I recently found a quote that spoke strongly to me on this subject, and I modified it a bit: “There is no set
formula for financial giving. Just as each person is unique, so is their ability and their response to financial
giving.”
That has become my mantra for this committee.
In a few minutes, some of our committee members will speak about ideas that work for them. Perhaps one
of these ideas may inspire you.
B. Capital Fund: Although we come to you today primarily to present and explain our operational needs,
our group will also be working on ideas to re-build our capital fund. Similar to the needs and care of our
physical bodies, our capital needs also require attention to maintain the physical health of our Meeting
buildings.
How can we best support our Meeting?
Just as Durham Friends feeds your Soul, which enlivens your heart, breath and body, may each of you
discern with wisdom how best you can financially support the Heart and Body of Durham Meeting, so that we
may remain spiritually vibrant, active and well-nourished.
Thank you.
— Presented by Sarah Sprogell
Queries on Financial Giving
These Queries were read by Sarah during the presentation:
From remarks at Chestnut Hill Meeting, Philadelphia, PA
By Thomas Jeavons
January 6, 2002
Do we as individuals see giving to our
Meetings (and other Quaker bodies) as: An
obligation of membership? An opportunity
to express our commitment to Quakerism?
An exercise that can be an expression of –
and contribute to our growth in – faith? As
an expression of gratitude to God for all the
blessings we have? Some combination?
Something else entirely?
Do we as a Meeting community believe
members have an obligation to provide some
financial support to the Meeting, even if
only a token amount for those who have
little to give? Do we believe members
should make the Meeting a “charitable
priority?” Are we willing to talk with one
another about what levels of giving are
appropriate? If not, why not?
Are we creating some safe spaces, and
providing some support, for our members
and attenders to talk with each other about
and wrestle with questions and concerns
about what should exist connections
between our faith and our money – not just
in relation to their giving, but in all aspects
of their lives? If not, should we, and how
could we?


