Durham Friends Meeting Minutes, May 19, 2024

Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends met for the conduct of business on Sunday, May 19, 2024, with 12 people in attendance at the Meetinghouse and one attending by Zoom. Sarah Sprogell clerked the meeting.

  1. Meeting Opening

Clerk began the meeting reading fromthe 1985 NEYM Faith and Practice, page 113, part of the section on Meeting Leadership, entitled All Are Co-Workers:

“The membership of Friends Meeting, or the Society of Friends, is made up of persons with varying gifts or abilities.  Each gift or each type of ability may be a form of ministry, and hence of leadership, and each member is a part of “the body” or the whole.  Each member in the exercise of such a gift or gifts of ministry is a nurturing, functioning part of the body….

Some members have gifts of teaching and counseling, or of organization and administration, or of vocal ministry or public speaking, or other similar gifts which identify them as leaders.  Members with other gifts are not simply passive followers, but all are co-workers in the care and nurture of the body and its members.  And all are co-workers in witness to our faith and in the service of love and justice in the world.”  – from a Pendle Hill workshop report on Friends as Leaders, 1979

2. Approval of Minutes of April 2023 — Ellen Bennett

A correction was requested in agenda item #4 Trustees’ Report: “Reports from Maine Home” should read “Maine House”.

With this correction, Meeting approved the minutes.

3. Finance Committee — Nancy Marstaller

The Quarterly Report was presented. Contributions are on track for the first quarter. Operating expenses are less than revenue at this time due to second quarter payment of contributions to sister/quaker organizations. 

Meeting accepted the Quarterly Report, with gratitude.

It was recommended that we resume regular passing of the offering plate. This topic will be taken up at Ministry and Counsel.

We canceled our employee compensation insurance as the Meeting currently has no employees, only independent contractors. Robb Spivey and Marion Dalton, conducting a financial review of Durham Meeting’s accounts, recommended consolidating some accounts to both simplify record-keeping as well as to take advantage of higher interest rates. We approved closing the Bernice Douglas Savings account (just over $12,000) and taking that money as well as $30,000 from checking and $28,000 from the capital account and moving it to our NEYM of Friends Pooled Fund account.

The estimated budget for travelers to Cuba are approximately $3,300 per traveler. Right now, $4,000 from the Meeting is available in the Sister Meeting account. Contributions from Portland Friends Meeting have brought that balance up to $13,000. Finance recommends making an additional $4,000 contribution to cover travel expenses for both Meeting members who hope to travel to Cuba next February. Overall expenses for the trip to Cuba will be brought forward at the June Meeting for Business for discussion and decision. 

5. Ministry and Counsel — Renee Cote

Please see attached reports. 

M&C discussed the use of Zoom during Meeting for worship. In response to requests for less technology during worship, beginning in January 2024, Meeting for worship is Zoom-free on 4th and 5th Sundays. Requests for less technology continue to be made. In response, two recommendations were made: 1. try a Zoom-free September, and 2. turn off the projector after the first hymn and turn it on again for joys and concerns. 

There was no unity around this issue. Clerk recommended a listening session, including evaluating the current Zoom/no Zoom Sundays each month. 

Craig Freshley’s letter regarding Zoom during Meeting for worship will be posted and available through the website. 

6. Peace and Social Concerns — Ingrid Chalufour

Please see attached report. 

The project to rename the park in Brunswick in recognition of the Wabanaki who first inhabited this region has gained momentum. We are working to form a town committee with the mission to expand from simple renaming to lifting up the history of the Wabanaki people. Two Town Counselors are guiding the process. A proposal will be going to the Brunswick Town Council in the Fall.

Friends had several suggestions for ways to get the word out about the very successful Social Justice Book Project publications, and the great work of this initiative via social media and at Quarterly and Yearly meetings.

The Meeting expressed its deep gratitude for the extraordinary work of Peace and Social 

Concerns with this project. 

7. Second consideration of divestment letter to MEPERS

Meeting approved having Clerk sign the letter on behalf of the Meeting. 

8. Other Business

Update on LACO: Town has asked LACO to leave its current location because of the state of the building in which it is currently housed. While they have not yet done so, the Town is required to give LACO thirty-days’ notice in advance of a move-out date.  The LACO Board is setting up a working group to explore options. The Local Baptist Church may have room for LACO. It was suggested that the Meeting write a letter in support of LACO and the importance of finding housing for the vital work it does This is a situation in flux. Note: Leslie continues as a second representative to LACO for the time being, until another Meeting member agrees to step into this role.

Doug Bennett reviewed how to view and use the Meeting calendar. 

9. Closing Worship 

Respectfully submitted, Ellen Bennett, Recording Clerk

Attachments

Falmouth Quarterly Meeting & Potluck Dinner, June 8, 2024

Falmouth Quarterly Meeting will hold a community gathering on Saturday, June 8, 2024 at 3pm at the Durham Friends Meetinghouse. All are welcome. We will plan family fun, some worship, purposeful connection time and singing.

Potluck- Quaker Feast at 5:30.

Please come for any or all of the day on Saturday- “Sing and rejoice, ye Children of the Day and of the Light” (G Fox)

Gathering for Friends with a Concern for Gospel Ministry

June 8, 2024, 10:00 a.m. to mid-afternoon

Location, Durham Friends Meeting

Brian Drayton (Souhegan) and Noah Merrill (Putney), following a concern, invite Friends active in gospel ministry to gather for worship and conversation at the Durham (Maine) Friends Meetinghouse from 10 a.m. to mid-afternoon, June 8th, 2024.

You may travel in ministry, or your service in speaking as led in worship may be primarily in your own meeting. If you contribute to the vocal ministry under a sustained sense of duty and concern, you are invited to join us.

If you hope to attend, or have questions, please email Brian and Noah.

Woman’s Society Minutes, June 15, 2024

Present: guest Getry Agizah (from Kenya), Dorothy Curtis, Kim Bolshaw, Sarah Sprogell, Dot Hinshaw, Dorothy Grannell, Paula Rossvell, Nancy Marstaller, Susan Gilbert, Leslie Manning, Marian Baker, Madeleine Vache (8 in meetinghouse, 4 on Zoom)

  1. As Susan Gilbert was attending by Zoom, Nancy took minutes.
  • We wrote cards for Friends.
  • Getry Agizah shared about her work for Friends United Meeting with Friends Peace Teams and the Girl Child Education program, which is based in the Turkana and Samburu regions of Kenya where education for girls is not considered important. Girls did not often go on to high school because of cultural norms and the expense of school fees (one year of high school costs $500 tuition). Women are important because they bring a dowery to a marriage, but are less valued than men in the culture. The culture is patriarchal; men believe their wives have to be under their husbands. Getry described how Kenyan woman were concerned about this and Eden Grace helped set up this program. Eden was able to convince people who might have been hesitant because she was a white Western woman who came from where other respected missionaries had come.

So far 652 women have benefited from this program. Some girls are rescued from early marriages and/or female genital mutilation. They receive mentoring as well as education. They often marry after school, and their lives and their family lives are improved by having this education.

Many young girls still get pregnant as men take advantage of them sexually, but these men don’t necessarily want to marry and support the children. Parents do not always teach their children about sex education. Sometimes young mothers are married off to older men, as a 2nd or even 3rd wife.

Getting sanitary supplies is an issue for many families, as they are expensive. Some American and Kenyan women are now making re-usable sanitary pads to give to those who need. Marian will send us a pattern in case we want to make any.

The climate has also exacerbated some problems with violence. Turkana had a drought for 5 years and now is having severe rains which cause flooding. Many people in this area are nomads, raising cattle. Cattle are used to pay the dowery for a marriage. When the drought made that harder, cattle rustling increased.  Sometimes young boys are also kidnapped while watching cattle to join bandit “militias”, even boys as young as 6 years old. These boys don’t go to school and are just trained as warriors and to be loyal only to one group or tribe, ready to use violence against those from other tribes. The hope is to get more boys into school where they can meet those from other tribes and learn more skills and ways to relate to others, so they can learn life is not just about guns.

  • The treasurer’s report was read and accepted. The April offering was $40. Our current balance is $125.96.
  • We agreed to split the proceeds from the plant sale with half going to the Root Cellar and half to the USFWI Children and Youth projects. Of the USFWI projects, half will go to Girls Secondary Education support in Turkana and Samburu and the other half to the other 3 projects.
  • Inspired by Getry’s report, we agreed to donate $100 to Friends United Meeting for the Girl Child Education project.
  • There was no report for the May Tedford Shelter meal. Team A will provide the June meal.
  • Dorothy Curtis has presented 2 baby quilts since our last meeting: one for Gabriel, Ezra and Laura Smith’s baby, and one for Doug and Ellen Bennett’s new granddaughter.

Dorothy closed the meeting with this quote:

“Within each of us, just waiting to blossom, is the wonderful promise of all we can be.”
(Anonymous writer)

Nancy Marstaller, secretary pro tem

Diana White Memorial Service, June 22, 11am to 2pm

The Memorial Service and Potluck for our member Diana White will be held Saturday, June 22 from 11-2 at Durham ME Friends Meeting (durhamfriendsmeeting.org) and available on Zoom. 

The memorial service will be from 11:00 to 12:15, with the potluck lunch to follow.

Diana, formerly of Farmington and Portland Meetings, was also a clerk of Friends Committee on Maine Public Policy and active in New England Yearly Meeting in several leadership roles.  She was the first woman to serve as Treasurer of the Yearly Meeting.

To learn more about her, please read her recent First Day message postyed on this website, “What I Bring to the Spiritual Potluck.

And join us on the 22nd to celebrate her life and spirit.  All are welcome.

Craig Freshley, “Screen-Free Thoughts,” March 10, 2024

Durham Friends Meeting is currently discussing whether and how it wants to continue providing access to our Sunday morning worship via Zoom. Currently we are providing Zoom access on the 1st, 2nd and 3d Sundays of each month, and no Zoom on 4th and 5th (if there is one) Sundays. (The 1st, 2nd and 3d Sundays are the ones on which we have scheduled, prepared messages as part of worship.)

What is below is an idea from member Craig Freshley regarding this matter that he sent to the Committee on Ministry and Counsel in March. Likely Ministry and Counsel will host a threshing session in the near future to hear that hopes and thoughts of all who worship at Durham Friends on this matter.

Agenda and Materials for Durham Friends Business Meeting, May 19, 2024

Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends Meeting for Business, May 19, 2024, noon

Materials for the May 19, 2024 Business Meeting can be found HERE.

AGENDA

                        Gather and Centering

                        Opening

                        Approval of Minutes from April Business Meeting

                        Finance – Nancy Marstaller

                                                First quarter report, attached

                        M&C – Renee Cote

                        P&SC – Ingrid Chalufour

                                                Report attached

                        Second consideration of divestment letter to MEPERS

                        Other

                        Close

AFSC Save the Date, June 29, 2024, 3:30 pm

Save the date!

A conversation with 

Joyce Ajlouny General Secretary, AFSC

Keith Harvey, Director, AFSC Northeast Region

Saturday, June 29, 2024, 3:30 p.m.

Friends School of Portland

11 US-1, Cumberland Foreside, ME

Learn about AFSC’s life-saving aid in Gaza, support for immigrant rights, and ongoing commitment to confront injustice and promote healing among the Wabanaki communities in Maine.

Stay tuned for more details

Getry Agizah at Durham Friends on Sunday, May 19 and again on Monday, May 20

Getry Agizah will bring the prepared message to Durham Friend’s semi-programmed worship this Sunday at 10:25 

and

visit with Woman’s Society Monday evening at 7 PM.  Both events are available by Zoom or at the Meetinghouse, durhamfriendsmeeting.org.  FMI contact durham@neym.org

Getry is the Programme Coordinator for FUM’s Africa Ministries Office in Kisumu. She coordinates the work of the Friends Church Peace Team, as well as overseeing the Girl Child Education Programme, and guiding the formation of the new Shepherd Boy Scholarship program. She also manages FUM’s relationships with Turkana Friends Mission and Samburu Friends Mission.  Her ministry has been financially supported by the Falmouth QUarter for many years.

Getry’s will and heart are in peace work. She has spent the past fifteen years working for peace, both in and outside Kenya in countries like Rwanda, Burundi, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Southern Sudan, Tanzania, Uganda, China, South Africa, Guatemala, and Ireland. She has also traveled within the U.S.A. to raise support for Friends Church Peace Teams, visiting Quaker churches and Meetings in many of the States. Her hobbies are traveling, doing reconciliation work, and helping her society to know real peace.

Annual Family Campout, June 8-9, 2024, Now Cancelled

UPDATE June 2, 2024:

Due to a major broken water pump at Betsy’s cottage in Georgetown, we need to cancel the Family Campout scheduled for next weekend- June 8-9. Instead, we invite Friends to gather at Durham Friends meetinghouse on Saturday only (no planned events on Sunday)

For those interested- come at 10am Gathering for Friends with a Concern for Gospel Ministry with Brian Drayton and Noah Merrill

At 3pm all are welcome to a FQM Quaker Community Gathering at Durham Friends Meetinghouse. We will plan family fun, some worship, purposeful connection time and singing.

Potluck- Quaker Feast at 5:30.

Please come for any or all of the day on Saturday- “Sing and rejoice, ye Children of the Day and of the Light” (G Fox)

Also Falmouth Quarterly Meeting gathering.

Meetinghouse Clean Up Day, June 1, 9am to 3pm

The Meeting Trustees (Sarah Sprogell, Dan Henton, Kim Bolshaw, Doug Bennett) would like to invite one and all to a Meetinghouse clean up day on Saturday June 1, 9am to 3pm. Come when you can, leave when you must.

We expect we’ll have things to do inside and outside. Bring a lunch with you. We’ll have fun! and a cleaner meetinghouse, too.

Woman’s Society Meeting Minutes, April 15, 2024

Durham Friends Woman’s Society Meeting Minutes 4.15.2024

We gathered at the Meeting House. WIFI for ZOOM was not available.

Present: Dorothy Curtis, President, Nancy Marstaller, Treasurer, Susan Gilbert, Secretary, Kim Bolshaw, Qat Langelier, Stevie Dutton.

Cards: For Friends.

Program and Devotions: We took turns reading from Blueprints, “God’s Eternal Love” by Natoo Sabina. Scripture: Ephesians 3:17-21.  In 2001 Natoo was inspired in her faith by hearing Pastor John Moru of the Turkana Friends Mission preach on the wonders of God. Natoo’s story is of overcoming loss and hardship to achieve education, marriage and children, with the help of prayer and God’s love. She is a primary school teacher in Turkana County, Kenya, presiding clerk of Kanamkemer village meeting, a part of Lodwar Monthly Meeting, and chair of the USFW sales group in the village.

Minutes: Susan read the 3.18.’24 minutes.

Treasurer’s Report: The account balance is $85.96.We received $20. in March.

Prayers: For Friends.

Tedford Meal: Prepared by Team E: Ham, sweet potatoes, green salad, and chocolate chip cookies. The meal on May 6 will be brought by Leslie Manning’s Team F. Volunteer contributions of food or donations are welcome. 

Other Business: The Woman’s Society will hold another plant sale this year, to be set up on May 22 for a start on Memorial Day weekend. We ask Friends use caution to avoid donating invasive species of worms and plants.

Dorothy closed the meeting with a reading:

God’s grace is too big, too great to understand fully. So we must 

take the moments of His grace throughout the day with us: the 

music of the songbird in the morning, the kindness shown in the afternoon, and the restful sleep at night.

-Anonymous

Respectfully Submitted, Susan Gilbert

Durham Friends Meeting Minutes, April 21, 2024

Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends met for the conduct of business on Sunday, April 21, 2024, with 15 people in attendance at the Meetinghouse and one attending by Zoom. Sarah Sprogell clerked the meeting.

1.     Meeting Opening

        Clerk opened the meeting with the following readingfrom the Interim Faith and Practice 2014, Section 3 on Corporate Discernment in Meetings for Business, p. 37.

        “The heart of Friends’ business process is the nurturing of spiritual openness and deep listening that allows the sense of the meeting to emerge.  At times, there may be unanimous agreement that a proposed action should be carried out.  However, when those gathered are not in simple agreement, careful consideration will be given to each speaker, and silent worship may be requested.  If all in attendance draw on their disciplines of worship and stay mindful that the purpose is to seek the will of God for the gathered body, unity can be found and acted upon.” … “The sense of the meeting emerges from the committed efforts of a loving community and strengthens its bonds.”

2.     Approval of Minutes from March 17, 2024 — Sarah Sprogell

        Note: It was requested that committee reports should include the first and last names of the people who are referenced. Recording Clerk will make those changes.

               With these changes, the minutes were approved, with gratitude.

3.     Peace and Social Concerns — Ingrid Chalufour

Please see attached report. The response to FCNL’s request monthly meetings to share feedback on its legislative priorities was read aloud.

A request was made for Meeting to add its signature to letter requesting Maine’s Public Employee’s Retirement System to divest retirement funds from fossil fuels. Members are able to look at the P&SC report and access a link to the letter, which people may also sign individually. 

Meeting agreed to hold this issue over until next month, giving everyone an opportunity to read the entire letter before approving that Meeting as a whole add its signature.

4.     Trustees Report — Kim Bolshaw

        Trustees Request that Meeting approve the following requests:

              a. Quotes from Maine House (business that removed furnaces)

              – 2 dehumidifiers for the basement $3,264

              – replace bulkhead $6,210

              Meeting approved these 2 projects.

b. Premier Contracting to paint the exterior addition of the Meetinghouse, including trim as well as trim on the brick portion of the building: $5,204.

              Meeting approved this project pending positive reference checks.

It was noted that Trustees reviewed past capital expenditures and agreed that allocating approximately $15K/year is sustainable.

5.     Ministry and Counsel — Tess Hartford and Renee Cote

        Please see attached report. No actionable items.

Reviewed the situation with respect to continuing Zoom during Meeting for Worship. M&C will take up this topic and return with a proposal for continuing discussion.

LACO is being evicted from their current location. Last year, LACO served 40,000 households, the large number due in part to Covid. LACO serves families in Bowdoin, Lisbon and Durham, and expect to serve 30,000 this year. They are looking for an additional person from Meeting to serve on their board, which meets quarterly for one hour. Leslie Manning will be serving in this capacity in the interim. As a reminder, the annual Harvest Supper/potluck, has been a fundraiser for LACO, but has not taken place since Covid.

6.     Woman’s Society — Dorothy Curtis and Nancy Marstaller

Dorothy read the memorial minute for Helen Clarkson. A sentence was added describing when Helen met her husband Vernon — on their first day of college.

      With this addition, Meeting approved the minute.

The Woman’s Society requests permission to hold its annual plant sale, with set-up to start                      Wed. May 22, and the official start of the sale on Sun. May 26. The sale will continue 2-3                                                        weeks, or until there are no more plants.

A portion of the proceeds will go to the United Society of Friends Women International               Children & Youth projects, and a portion to one or more local organizations, to be decided at our next Woman’s Society meeting.

       Meeting approved, with gratitude.

7.     Clearness Committee Letters for Kristna Evans and Mimi Marstaller travel to Cuba

Wendy Schlotterbeck read the letter prepared for Mimi Marstaller, which included text written by Mimi expressing her interest.

Clearness Committee asks Meeting to approve Mimi’s travel in 2025 as part of NEYM delegation to Cuba.

       Meeting approved.

Sarah Sprogell read the letter prepared by the Clearness Committee for Kristna Evans.

Clearness Committee asks Meeting to approve Kristna’s travel in 2025 as part of NEYM delegation to Cuba.

       Meeting approved.

8.     New Business

It was noted that one of the people who worked hardest in the state legislature this session was Margaret (Peggy) Rotundo. The request was made to send a letter of love and support to her, particularly in light of the tragedy in her hometown and district of Lewiston. M&C will take responsibility for writing and sending the letter.

               The Meeting approved sending a card or letter of appreciation and support.

8.     Closing Worship

Respectfully submitted,

Ellen Bennett, Recording Clerk

Attachments available here

Recommended Social Justice Resources for Teachers and Others

The Social Justice Book Project, at Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends in Maine, has produced the materials in this folder for use by teachers of young children and organizations wishing to establish similar projects in their communities. These materials are available to you to print and share. By October 1, 2024 all of the materials will be available and they include:

Guide Books

A Guide to Building a School Justice Book Project

Creating an Anti-Bias Classroom Community – the Role of Books

Exploring the Black Experience in America – the Role of Books

Exploring Wabanaki History and Culture with Attention to Care of the Environment – the Role of Books

Booklists:

Anti-bias Classroom Community Books

Black Experience in America Books

Books By and About Indigenous Peoples

Books About Diverse Families

Books About Social Justice Activists

Immigrant Stories

Stories About Inspirational Figures

Books About Appreciating and Caring for the Environment

Resources:

A List of Other Recommended Resources

Agenda and Materials for Durham Friends Business Meeting, April 21, 2024

The Agendas and materials for the April 21, 2024 Durham Friends Business Meeting can be found HERE.

Agenda, Monthly Meeting for Business, April 21, 2024

Gather and Center

Opening

1. Approval of Minutes from March 17, 2024

2. Peace and Social Concerns – report attached

3. Trustees – report attached

4. Ministry and Counsel – report attached

5. Women’s Society – draft memorial minute for Helen Clarkson

6. Clearness Committee letters for Kristna Evans and Mimi Marstaller to travel to Cuba in 2025

7. Other

Walk for Historical and Ecological Recovery (WHERE2024), May 9, 5:30pm

Peace and Social Concerns calls these events to our attention:


Dear friend,

Over the course of 2024, partners committed to surfacing the truths of colonization and oppression in the place known for millennia by the Wabanaki people as the Dawnland will engage with local communities on a journey across land and water, shining a light on the ways that Indigenous, Black, and settler-descendent populations are represented—or not—in Maine’s commemorative landscape.Convened by the public history nonprofit Atlantic Black Box, the Walk for Historical and Ecological Recovery (WHERE2024) is a broad-based and community-engaged effort carried out in partnership with Wabanaki REACHIndigo Arts AllianceCommunity Change Inc., and In Kinship Collective.
Join WHERE2024 partners on Thursday, May 9 at 5:30 pm for a launch event hosted by the Land We Live Onto kick off this epic collective journey.

Click HERE to RSVP
Over seven months, a series of walks and programs situated in seven locations throughout the state will engage the public in surfacing suppressed stories of genocide and survival, enslavement and resistance, displacement and represencing.Walking in solidarity to forward ongoing processes of truth-seeking and transformation, our aim is to catalyze creative and embodied approaches to antiracist and decolonial historical recovery efforts across the state and the region.Please join us on May 9 as we move to reckon with all that has happened here and to engage in dialogue around the ways that our past continues to shape our present-day relationships and our possible futures.CLICK TO RSVP OR JOIN MAILING LIST
Atlantic Black Box is dedicated to expanding the field of historical recovery. We empower communities throughout the Northeast to research and reckon with the region’s active role in colonization and slavery while recentering the stories of its historically marginalized groups. 
Atlantic Black Box is a 501c3 public charity
EIN 86-2963335

P.O. Box 8771, Portland, ME 04104
www.atlanticblackbox.com
info@atlanticblackbox.com
Copyright © 2024 Atlantic Black Box, All rights reserved.




“Transformation,” by Jan Collins

Jan Collins, assistant director of the Maine Prisoner Advocacy Coaltion (MPAC), brought the message at Durham Friends Meeting on April 7, 2024

Greetings and welcome.

Thank you for inviting me to your house of worship and into your lives. The topic of my message is transformation. Before I begin, I would like each of us to take just a moment to reflect on our own transformation. You may have changed slowly, or as the result of an event, often a trial by fire or a time of great suffering. As a result of that tribulation you became a different person. Try to recall how you were before and how you changed. How did your thinking change?

I chose “Amazing Grace” as our first hymn because of its tale of transformation. The song was written in 1772 by a former captain of a slave ship, John Newton who, by his own words, labelled his young life as depraved; filled with greed, violence and debauchery.

On March 2, 1748 at age 22, his ship the Greyhound was caught in a violent storm and was about to sink. He watched shipmates wash overboard. When he took the helm he began to pray for God’s mercy. He remained at the ships wheel for 11 hours while his crew attempted to staunch leaks in the hull. Gradually the storm eased and the ship survived.

He began changes to his life immediately, but they were gradual. He left his life aboard ship in 1754, began studying Hebrew, Greek, scripture and the ministry. He was ordained in the Church of England and was appointed to a church in Olney, England where he wrote Amazing Grace for a Sunday service to compliment his scriptural reading of first Chronicles 17:16-17 in which King David looks back on his life and asks, “Who am I that God hast brought me here?”

”Amazing Grace” is about redemption, the joy of receiving God’s grace, even when you have done terrible things. John Newton wrote the song at age 47. He had already been a pastor for 18 years, yet he reflected daily on his previous life of wretchedness and the path before him.

But how do we get from a life of complacency to one of transformation?

I decided to Google it. Although Google is a fount of information, it is lacking in wisdom.

According to several articles, you can achieve transformation in seven easy steps… or six… or five, depending on which site you consult.

If you follow “7 Steps to Transformation: How to Radically Change Your Life …” You must – “identify your goals; visualize your future; create an action plan; take small steps; overcome challenges; celebrate success; and live a transformed life”. Sounds simple.

Certainly some of those steps apply to John Newton’s life, take small steps, overcome challenges, live a transformed life, but there are essential ingredients missing in this recipe.I have found that transformation chooses us, not the other way around. John Newton did not choose to be in a life threatening storm, or to watch his shipmate be washed overboard never to be seen again. When faced with his and his crews mortality he became keenly aware of his own powerlessness and the fragility of life.

That awareness and the pain that accompanied it provided an opening, a hole for grace to slip in.

The process of transformation is as much about giving up things that no longer serve us as it is about learning new things.

It can be extremely painful to give up those things, those beliefs that may have insulated us from pain or given us great comfort. A person seeking sobriety, must give up the comfort of addiction…a good friend that protected them from deep pain.

When we give up racism or sexism, we must give up the comfort of believing that we are somehow superior to those around us and instead accept the humanity of others.

I spent most of the first decades of my life believing that I could erase the pain of my early childhood and my father’s incarceration by being a great student and a hard worker. I avoided people who were troubled or trouble makers. When my husband and I adopted three children ages 7, 8, and 9 from foster care, we truly believed that our love could make up for the years of abuse they had suffered in there biological home and the trauma of being in 5 foster homes in 5 years.

But at age 21, my son was arrested for a terrible crime and sentenced to 20 years in prison. I felt like I was on a sinking ship.That experience opened up a hole in me, a terrible pain that allowed grace to step in. I stopped running, stopped building protective walls.

I learned several lessons –

1. Good people can do terrible things. John Newton could participate in the violent, inhumane and heartless slave trade. My son could commit a violent crime.

2. The answer to violence is not more violence, and the answer to inhumanity is not more inhumanity. It is love.

3. We are all capable of transformation. We are all capable of redemption.

4. An environment of support and nurturance encourages transformation. A trauma filled environment stifles it. John Newton found his support in the friends he found in the church and in slavery’s abolition. I in the community of folks affected by incarceration.

In his transformation John Newton eventually became instrumental in the f ight to end slavery in England, a fight that was achieved just months before his death.

For my part, I am fighting to end our system of mass incarceration in Maine and the US. I recognize that it does more harm than good, that it is a war against the poor, the sick and the black, and that it perpetuates the very harms that John Newton saw in slavery.

The parallels are uncanny. Both an enslaved person and an incarcerated person lose everything, including their family. The state may take their children and give them to someone else. Others will lose family members to death, never having the opportunity to say goodbye. In prison you are expected to work for free or next to nothing, Your clothing will be of the poorest quality, as will your food and your medical care. Punishment will be your daily lot with very little support for real change in your life. It is no wonder so few succeed upon release and almost 700 individuals have died in Maine in the last 10 years while on probation.

Just as abolition of slavery was the cause of the nineteenth century, abolition of the carceral system should be the cause of this century. The thirteenth amendment of the US constitution, ended slavery in the United States except for those who are incarcerated. Now it is time to end incarceration.

I would ask you to join me in recognizing that fight. We heal in community, not in isolation.

In closing, it is not enough for to us believe in our own ability to transform, our own redemption: we must also believe in the transformation and redemption of others.

Thank you for believing in the humanity of those in prison and their ability to change. Please join me in making the abolition of prisons a reality. It is not an easy task, but it is a just one that our faith demands of us.

“Let the Mystery Be,” by Craig Freshley

Craig Freshley brought the message at Durham Friends Meeting on April 14, 2024. An audio recording is HERE. The message started with Craig playing a song by Iris Dement, “Let the Mystery Be.” Below are the lyrics.

“Let The Mystery Be,” Song by Iris DeMent

Everybody is wondering what and where they all came from
Everybody is worrying ’bout
Where they’re gonna go when the whole thing’s done
But no one knows for certain and so it’s all the same to me
I think I’ll just let the mystery be

Some say once you’re gone you’re gone forever
And some say you’re gonna come back
Some say you rest in the arms of the Savior if in sinful ways you lack
Some say that they’re coming back in a garden
Bunch of carrots and little sweet peas
I think I’ll just let the mystery be

Everybody is wondering what and where they all came from
Everybody is worrying ’bout
Where they’re gonna go when the whole thing’s done
But no one knows for certain and so it’s all the same to me
I think I’ll just let the mystery be

Some say they’re going to a place called glory
And I ain’t saying it ain’t a fact
But I’ve heard that I’m on the road to purgatory
And I don’t like the sound of that
I believe in love and I live my life accordingly
But I choose to let the mystery be

Everybody is wondering what and where they all came from
Everybody is worrying ’bout
Where they’re gonna go when the whole thing’s done
But no one knows for certain and so it’s all the same to me
I think I’ll just let the mystery be

I think I’ll just let the mystery be

Source: Musixmatch

Let The Mystery Be lyrics © Universal Music Corp., Songs Of Iris

“Common Ground” to be Shown at Meetinghouse, April 26, 7pm

Peace and Social Concerns Committee will be showing a film, “Common Ground” at the Meetinghouse on April 26 at 7:00 PM.  More on the film HERE.

From the film’s website:

From the filmmakers of ‘Kiss the Ground’ (Netflix) comes the follow-up documentary ‘Common Ground’, winner of the Tribeca Film Festival. Common Ground is an important new documentary film featuring Laura Dern, Jason Momoa, Woody Harrelson, Ian Somerhalder, Donald Glover, Rosario Dawson, Mark Hyman, Gabe Brown, and many others.

Directed by Josh and Rebecca Tickell, Common Ground provides hope for future generations with concrete ways to fix a broken planetary system. The film explores how regenerative agriculture can help heal the soil, our health and the planet.

Setting Priorities for FCNL, Sunday, April 14, Noon

From Peace and Social Concerns Committee:

We know elections matter, and we know that our voices matter.  That is why Friends Committee on National Legislation (FCNL) asks us to identify the top priorities that they will focus on in the next Congress, convening in January, 2025.

On Sunday, April 14 at 12 noon, our Peace and Social Concerns Committee will lead us in a meeting wide discussion and discernment. If you cannot attend, in person or by Zoom, please reply to this email (durham@neym.org) with your thoughts.  

“We may all feel at times that we stand alone and are helpless as single individuals to influence issues that we have a driving desire (leading) to improve and/or change. Please recognize that if you accept this invitation to provide input to FCNL you will be joining hundreds of others pushing for a better world. The success of FCNL’s 80 years of advocacy work has always depended on persistence, patience and the support of caring people (examples: 2016 US-Iran Nuclear Agreement, 2023 repeal of 2002 Iraq War Authorization, 2024 advocacy for passage of Bill S.1723 Truth and Healing Commission on Indian Boarding School Policies Act).” 

On April 14 we will prepare a message from Durham Friends, letting FCNL know what is most important to us right now. Please help us do that by attending our meeting or sending your thoughts by email. 

Here’s a list of current priorities, feel free to add yours under Other Issues

Economic Justice:

Sustainable Energy and Environment:

Justice Reform and Gun Violence Prevention:

Just Migration:

Native American Concerns:

Middle East Policy:

Nuclear Nonproliferation:

Pentagon Spending:

International Peace Building:

U.S. Wars and Militarism:

Voting and Elections:   

Other Issues:

Meal Train for Ezra, Laura and Gabriel Smith

Gabriel was born to Ezra and Laura Smith on March 28, and is going to need an extended stay in the hospital.  Please hold them all in your prayers and thoughts. 

Ezra writes: “Thank you so much for holding us all in your prayers and keeping meeting members informed. My co-worker set up a meal train for us which will start in several weeks. It would be great if you can also pass around the link for people who are interested. The link is here: https://mealtrain.com/0m7ll4

Folks can drop stuff at our house, or at my school. There is also a section for donations. 

And thank you again for your prayers, 

Ezra Smith

Durham Friends Woman’s Society Meeting Minutes, March 18, 2024

Present: Dorothy Curtis, President, Nancy Marstaller, Treasurer, Susan Gilbert, Secretary, Kim Bolshaw.

We met at Dorothy Curtis’ home. We visited her sewing room, and admired the hand embroidered quilt squares based on nursery rhyme characters created by Durham Friends for an expected birth, the quilt to be finished by Dorothy. As we conducted our meeting, we enjoyed hot tea, cookies, cheese and crackers and chocolate. 

Cards: For Friends

Program and Devotions: We worked on Helen Clarkson’s Memorial Minute, writing organized by Nancy Marstaller.

Minutes: Susan read the 2.19.’24 minutes.

Treasurer’s Report: The account balance is $115.96. Nancy examined our 2023 WS donations, looking for a charity we had not donated to. We chose Tedford Housing for a $50. donation.

Prayers: For Friends 

Tedford Meal: Team D provided hot dogs, potato salad, broccoli slaw, and woopie pies. Team E will bring the April 1 meal, with Nancy Marstaller as contact person. Volunteers to contribute food or donations are welcome. 

Other Business: Jane Dough of USWFI sent a reading list for the upcoming Blueprints edition, on the theme “ God Still Speaks”. We discussed books to purchase for our library. Marion Baker informed us that there will be a North East gathering of US Friends Woman’s Society International over Memorial Day weekend at Oakwood Friends School in Poughkeepsie, NY.

We closed the meeting listening to the Cambridge singers perform:

God Be In My Head

God be in my head and in my understanding

God be in my eyes and in my looking

God be in my mouth and in my speaking

God be in my heart and in my thinking

God be at my end and in my departing.

Respectfully Submitted, Susan Gilbert

Falmouth Quarter to Meet, April 27, 9:30 to 2:30, Curtis Library

[Updated April 10, 2024] How does Truth prosper among us?

Falmouth Quarter will meet on 4/27 from 9:30-2:30 at the Curtis Library in Brunswick. Brunswick Meeting will host us.

How does Truth prosper among us?

Falmouth Quarter will meet on 4/27at the Curtis Library in Brunswick. Brunswick Meeting will host us. We can gather for conversation at 9; the meeting will start at 9:30. We expect to finish before 3:00.

In April we receive any State of Society reports prepared by the meetings in Falmouth Quarter, any Memorial Minutes from the past year and hear reports from those in our Quarter with recognized or named gifts of ministry. 

We will also receive two minutes concerning the crises in Gaza – one from Portland and one from Durham and considering endorsing them and forwarding them to the Yearly Meeting.

Please let us know if there are particular concerns that you would like included as we plan for the day.

All are welcome and all are needed.

Love Fritz Weiss and Wendy Schlotterbeck, co-coordinators Falmouth Quarter

Durham Monthly Meeting Minutes, March 17, 2024

Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends met for the conduct of business on Sunday, March 17, 2024 with 8 people in attendance at the Meetinghouse and 6 attending by Zoom.

  1. Meeting Opening

Nancy Marstaller opened the meeting with a poem “How Good to Center Down”, from the book Meditations from the Heart by Howard Thurman.

  1. Approval of Clerk and Recording Clerk pro tem
  2. Nancy Marstaller was approved as Clerk of the day.
  3. Sarah Sprogell was approved as Recording Clerk pro tem.
  1. Approval of Minutes of February 2024

Meeting approved the February minutes.

  1. Schedule of presiding clerks

The clerks group set up a rotation for presiding clerks for the year 2024.  Clerks will preside over monthly meetings, review clerk’s mail, and be available as needed to work with members and others on issues that arise during those months.  The schedule is as follows:

Jan. thru Mar. – Nancy Marstaller

April thru June – Sarah Sprogell

July thru Oct. – Tess Hartford

Nov. thru Dec. – Ingrid Chalufour

  1. Clearness Committees for Mimi Marstaller and Kristna Evans to travel to Cuba in 2025

Mimi read her letter of interest, and requested a clearness committee for her intent to travel to Cuba with the Puente de Amiga delegation. The letter is attached.

Kristna was not present, but has also expressed interest in traveling with the same delegation and would like a clearness committee.

  1. The Meeting approved a clearness committee for Mimi with Kim Bolshaw, Sarah Sprogell and Wendy Schlotterbeck serving on the committee.
  2. The Meeting also approved a clearness committee for Kristna with Kim Bolshaw, Tess Hartford and Mimi Marstaller serving on the committee.
  3. First reading of Charlotte Anne Curtis Memorial Minute

Dorothy Curtis read the memorial minute aloud.  It is also available as an attachment.

  1. Meeting approved the minute with appreciation.
  1. Second reading of Sue Wood Memorial Minute

Tess read the memorial minute aloud.  It is also available as an attachment.

  1. Meeting approved the minute with appreciation.
  1. Peace and Social Concerns report and letter to Brunswick Topsham Land Trust

The report and letter are attached.

Ingrid gave an update on the book project. The first guidebook on creating an anti-bias classroom has been completed and sent to Martha Hinshaw Sheldon for editing.  The next guidebook is in process.  It focuses on how to set up a book project like this one, and will be sent to each monthly meeting within NEYM.

The session to discern FCNL priorities is rescheduled for April14 at rise of meeting.

A film titled Common Ground film will be shown at the meetinghouse on April 26 at 7pm.  It is made available by Interfaith Light and Power.  It explores agricultural practices that can help heal the soil, our health and the planet.

The committee is asking approval of a letter to Brunswick/Topsham Land Trust requesting their support for renaming the 250th Anniversary Park in Brunswick.    Ingrid read the letter aloud.  Once approved, Ingrid will send the letter via email.

  1. The meeting approved the letter, and felt that it was masterfully written.
  1. Finance Committee report

The report is attached.

Nancy highlighted that  our new bookkeeper, Amanda Whidden, will start this month.

The financial review for 2022 and 2023 was completed by Marian Dalton and Robb Spivey for 2022.  They found that the records were in good order.  They recommended some changes that will be implemented by the committee.  If anyone wants to see the full report, they should contact Nancy.

  1. Ministry and Counsel report

The Easter Service on March 31st will include Zoom access.  The program will include readings of the Easter story and related hymns.

Nancy read the State of Society Report, which included two possible opening paragraphs.  The report was well-received by all. The report is attached.

  1. The meeting approved the report using the first opening paragraph.
  2. The meeting also approved substituting the last sentence of the alternative paragraph in place of the one originally used in the first paragraph.

Nancy read the proposal from the MCC search committee, recommending the composition and role of an oversight committee for Meeting Care Coordinator.  Please see the attached report for more details.

  1. The meeting approved the proposal.  Rene, Ingrid, someone from Communications, and the rotating clerk will serve on this committee.

The clearness committee for Diana White’s membership is in full support of transferring her membership from Portland Meeting to Durham.  They recommend that the meeting approve her transfer. Diana was present and told us that her health has taken a serious turn, and that she will be moving in with her daughter who lives in Fayette, ME.

  1. The meeting approved Diana’s transfer with warmth and loving care.
  1.  Consideration of letter re Israel and Palestine

Leslie Manning, our Meeting Care Coordinator, drafted a proposed Minute on Palestine and Israel.  Nancy read the letter aloud.  It is also attached.  The letter was well-received, with a few suggestions made, and some discussion that it could be too long for a letter to the editor.

  1. The meeting approved the Minute, adding Ramallah Friends School as a correction, and re-wording the last sentence to say “We pray that this not be done in our name.”
  2. We approved that Leslie make adjustments as needed for public distribution.
  1. Trustees report

Sarah reviewed the attached report, highlighting the financial review and suggestions made by Robb Spivey and Marian Dalton who carried out the review.  Trustees will be following up on their suggestions. 

  1.  Statistical report

Sarah reviewed the attached report that will also be forwarded to Quarterly Meeting and the Yearly Meeting.  In 2023 we received one resignation and one new member, for a total membership of 96.  Our numbers have been reducing gradually over the years, but for now are remaining relatively stable.  There are usually about 20-24 members and attenders at meeting for worship in the meetinghouse and on zoom, and an average of 13 people at meeting for business.

  1.  Library Committee

Nancy reported that Dot says the library is running out of space.  She asks that if anyone finds a book they think should be removed, please pull it out and set it aside for Dot to review.

  1.  Closing

Clerk closed with a reading from Dwight Wilson’s book Modern Psalms of Solace and Resistance.   During the pandemic, Dwight wrote a psalm each day.  This psalm was written on March 17.

You are a connoisseur of beauty.

May we use Your taste as our pattern.

Even Your smallest surprises bring joy.

You let them flow in rivulets instead of waiting

For days that we designate as holidays.

Patience is the key to living beside You.

Not always do we rejoice as the road turns.

But when we keep the faith,

We notice that wonderful things happen every day.

Your design shines through the darkest moments.

We celebrate Your love as we celebrate

Our lives as enthusiastic servants.

You bring eternal joy, the prize that

Mitigates meanness and transforms oppression.

Respectfully submitted by Sarah Sprogell, recording clerk pro tem.

Agenda and Materials for Durham Friends Business Meeting, March 17, 2024

Reports and other materials for the business meeting can be found HERE

Agenda for DMMF Monthly Meeting March 17, 2024

Opening reading

Approval of Nancy Marstaller as clerk for meeting

  1. Approval of last month’s minutes
  2. Schedule of presiding clerks
  3. Clearness committees for Mimi and Kristna re Cuba trip
  4. Reading of Charlotte A. Curtis memorial minute
  5. Reading/approval of Sue Wood memorial minute
  6. P&SC report- letter to Land Trust
  7. Finance Comm. report
  8. Ministry and Counsel report: Easter service plan (includes Zoom), State of Society, MCC oversight comm., membership clearness comm. report
  9. Consideration of letter re Israel and Palestine
  10. Trustees report
  11. Statistical report- Sarah
  12. Library- Dot H.
  13. Other

State of Society Report 2023

With the desire to seek after God’s will and to faithfully minister to one another, Durham Monthly Meeting of Friends continues to worship as a semi-programmed meeting. Through prepared messages, active ministry and service to each other, we also extend beyond our faith community. With a resilient and welcoming spirit, and Divine assistance, our spiritual state is strong.

Faithfulness and service are a strong part of our community. Both members and attenders give of their time to our meeting, from music ministry, to care of the meetinghouse, recording the sense of meeting decisions and discussions, and maintaining an attractive and informative website, durhamfriendsmeeting.org. 

Members of our meeting give their support to our new immigrant neighbors and bear witness to the effects of war, gun violence, and climate change on our state and in our world. We continue to support the sovereignty of the Wabanaki people living in Maine, including through contact with our legislators and supporting the renaming of the 250th Anniversary Park in Brunswick to Pejepscot Park.

We joyfully welcomed a new member who has shared his gifts with us for some time.

We accepted the resignation of a member with sorrow but with a sense that we prayerfully considered all avenues for reconciliation and healing.

Our meeting continues to offer hybrid worship thanks to a small group of volunteers. Technology continues to offer us a way to include everyone in worship and to facilitate the work of the meeting. However, we are aware of the distractions that technology brings and that some among us long for the deeper silence present when technology is not used. During the latter part of the year we began a practice of technology-free fourth and fifth Sundays, encouraging in-person worship on these unprogrammed Sundays.

Overall our building, grounds and cemeteries are in good shape and continue to be loved and cared for by our whole meeting community.

Our trustees continue their care of our beloved meetinghouse as we approach 250 years as a meeting, having been founded in 1775. 2023 was the first full year that we relied on heat pumps for all of our heating needs. We found that they functioned very well for us, even during some very cold periods last winter. To help with this, we added window inserts in the vestry, classrooms and front hallway. All in all the heat pumps are less expensive than the oil furnace was and we are less reliant on fossil fuels.

The meetinghouse was used by a number of outside groups that we were pleased to support.  A Native family group meets here once a month, the Maine Poets Society used it twice for an all-day gathering, and a teen advisory group affiliated with University of Southern Maine (USM) had several meetings here in the fall. Three memorial meetings were also held at the meetinghouse.

Two Friends from Durham represented us in the wider Quaker world. One traveled to Cuba with Puente de Amigos to visit our sister meeting, Velasco Friends, and to attend Cuba Yearly Meeting in February 2023. She was profoundly moved by the depth of faith in that community. Another Friend attended the United Society of Friends Woman’s International and FUM’s Triennial, which were held in Nakuru, Kenya. She was able to travel an older Friend who has traveled extensively in Africa and with the well wishes and support from many sources, and shared pictures and stories of this “trip of a lifetime” with us on her return.

Our Peace and Social Concerns committee continues its work on the Social Justice Enrichment Project, supported by the Obadiah Brown Benevolent Fund, bringing a set of books that teach the values of diversity, kindness, love, and affirmation to a group of area teachers. This ministry included outreach to the local community on Indigenous People’s Day when many community members enjoyed some of the literature from the project and learned more about us and our Meeting.

In June we held a celebration of the life of Margaret Wentworth, a life-long member of Durham, whose devotion, deep faith, and generosity of spirit continue to inspire us. We have renamed our library as the Margaret Wentworth Library in honor of this beloved Friend.

One of our members was raised up as a recorded minister by our Falmouth Quarter with the loving support of our community, and at the end of the year accepted a part-time position as the Meeting Care Coordinator.

In October we held a meeting for grieving to give our community an opportunity to express sorrow and loss for the members we lost and our own response to the cares of the world.

Durham Friends Meeting has emerged from the restrictions of the Covid pandemic and from the loss of some stalwart members with a deepened strength to nourish our beloved community and invite others into its love, challenges and care.

Approved by Monthly Meeting, March 17, 2024